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There’s a buzz all around the Bung as the old birds from the Bowlsy kick off a year of festivities to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the club.

Yes that right’s sportsfans – a full year of partying! We don’t do things by halves here in Geebung, and the Moselle will be raining down like water, and the bacardi and cokes like a mighty stream as the young ladies in white who proudly wear the Geebong leaf upon their most ample breasts will be partying like it’s 1999 for the next 11 months.

In fact many of the old ducks still think it is 1999, but ages catches up with all of us and dementia’s just another way of saying dejavu, the feeling that this has happened before … the feeling this has happened before …..

Oh yeah baby it’s on for young and old down here next to the Zillman waterholes, and the girls have letterboxed the neighbourhood to let us know the they’ll be having a large and long one on Saturday night, with Elvis impersonators, line dancing and raucous recollections by Rosie, Fay and Lil as the three of them team up to give the Golden Jubilee speech. Ya wouldn’t miss it for quids, but you’d better line up early because the joint will be packed to the rafters.

And then at 9.30pm, after the old folk (those over 90) go home, the lights are going to be turned down low and the music cranked up loud, and there’ll be damp bloomers all over the Bung as the international megastar Disco Ernie brings his Bone on Bone extravaganza to the capital suburb of Brisbane.

You’ll hear the girls shrieking from as far away as the Hammo Hotel I reckon, but I’m afraid that it’s my melancholy duty to inform you that tickets were sold out months ago, so I’m sorry ladies, but you’ve missed the boat on seeing Ernie in the flesh.

Don’t despair though, because it’s a little known fact and a well-kept secret that Disco Ernie’s brother is none other than Kevvie from the Bunger, who puts Ernie to shame in the rod and tackle department, but refuses to get his kit off for any filly under 40 (some fellas have all the luck, and the luxury to pick and choose).

Kevvie’s organised a loan of the big screen from the Bunger so that his horde of girlfriends, mistresses and wives – and any other sheila without a ticket – can watch the action live via simulcast across the road from the Bowlsy in Geebong Park. The big fella says to make sure that you bring your own chair and a box of tissues, but don’t bother dragging down the esky because he’s got an icebox full of Bolly and Beer he’s bootlegged from the Bunger and is going to flog off at outrageously inflated prices.

A bloke’s gotta supplement his pension and build a punting bank somehow, especially when he bets as much and as badly as old Kevvie.

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Unfortunately for the 17 Liberal voters in Geebung – all of them blow-ins from Zillmere – Lord Mayor Quirky and former Sandgate MP and wannabe public purse trougher once more Kerry Millard won’t be be able to make it on the night, not that the girls would have let them in anyway. The pair have been quite rightfuully declared pests by the Bayside Star, and have been ‘controlled’ by the termite specialists if you know what I mean. Enough said, and you all know the rule about loose lips, right?

Archie’ll be there though, wild horses couldn’t keep me away, but ladies be warned – the bead-twirler’s coming too, and being little David Tua’s cousin she packs a might mean punch, as former Deputy-Prime Minister Brian Howe’s daughter can certainly attest, assuming they’ve taken the pins out of her jaw.

Anyway sportfans, it’s beer o’clock and I can hear the courtesty bus beeping outside so I’ve gotta run before the bead-twirler twigs that I’ve grabbed a pineapple out of her purse. See ya on Saturday night down at the Bunger Bowlsy.

Just a quick last tip- whatever you do make sure that you get there on time. Lil hates bad manners and has a special treat prepared for those who don’t respect the rules of polite punctuality. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

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