vikkis no

Regular readers of this site know that if there is one thing Archie absolutely hates even more than racists, homophobes, lobbyists, and Tony Abbott, it’s some officious prick trying to tell me what to do. 

Maybe it’s the Irish in me, maybe it’s the Scot; perhaps it’s that I’m a one-time victim who’s had a gutful of cowering in fear and has determined never to do it again; it could simply be that I’m a Bunger Boy, and defiance is in my DNA; or maybe I just don’t give a flying f*ck – I’m not sure, and it’s not something I spend a lot of time thinking about, life being too short to waste on such angsty self-reflections. 

But boy I just can’t cop clowns and would-be Cleopatra’s telling me what I should and shouldn’t do, and patronizingly presuming that they know what’s in my best interests better than I do, despite never having bloody met me in their lives and not even bothering to give me a ‘how’s your father’ before launching into their laughable heavy routine.

Dead set, they’d be better worrying about what might be in their own interests wouldn’t they, rather than acting the spider to old Archie’s fly and walking straight into the beginner’s level web.

Especially when they’re from a company that has just f*cked my desperately ill parents around like no man’s business, and kept my poor old Dad stuck on the mobile phone at great expense for 3 hours – one and a half of them because they didn’t meet their promise to call him back – because he’s just had a double bypass and his beloved, my dear old Mum, has had a stroke and they’re both just out of the ICU and need an operative bloody home dog and bone in case they need to give Triple O an emergency call if one of them drops; but the damn thing’s on the blink and the registered emergency needs customers are being told that it will take 36-48 hours to fix the bloody thing.

Sure it might have been a swift trick to uncover one of the Optus Director’s home address and number and get the grandkids to ring it every ten minutes expressing their concern about the problem, but their concerns were legit, and why should 2 hard-working Aussie battlers turned pensioners have their lives put at risk because the company they pay 120 a month to won’t employ Aussies to answer their calls, and refuse to pull their fingers out of their rings? 


They bloody shouldn’t, that’s the simple answer, and nor should any other Optus customer, so being the good community minded citizen that I am I posted the Directors name and phone number on this website, because if we can give him a hoi and get our problem fixed faster than you can say ‘Optus are arseholes’, then I’m sure you can to, and good bloody on you.

And now thanks to young Vicki – the ‘Customer Relations Executive’ who seems not to care that I’m a customer, or that other folk paying Optus bills have a right to speak to the people running the outfit if they can’t get any satisfaction on Bombay – has kindly provided us her direct number and her email address too, to save us the hassle of waiting in a phone queue stretching from the Geebung Bowls Club to eternity.

It’s bloody good of you Vic – good on ya luv – and I hope plenty of people give you a call, and in between answering the good folk who pay your wages and dealing with their problems, maybe you might reflect a bit on your decision to give me the bum’s rush when I asked you to fix the oldies up with a credit for the time they spent without a phone and all the attendant hassle and stress and wasted time hey? And reconsider the wisdom of going the heavy on a freelance journalist with an attitude and a devil-may-care outlook on life.

But sportsfans, just in case Vicki’s phone’s on the blink and she’s waiting 48 hours for it get fixed when you try to call, here’s the names addresses of the other blokes and one sheila who run the company you pay your hard earned to on the off chance that you might get just a wee bit of customer service and a working phone and internet libe.

Don’t be afraid to get in touch with them if you ever have a problem. I’m sure they’ll be as pleased as punch to hear from a good account payer like you.

After all, the customer always comes first at Optus – Yes!

vikkis nodirect


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