They’re a bunch of dumb f*ckers aren’t they Arch? Now now Gorgeous, show a bit of decorum will you? They are simply investigatively challenged. So stop laughing at ’em!

Well where were we before I took a break on and went for a quick holiday with Gorgeous George at the Geebung RSL holiday villas at Pinkenba by the beach next to the Norfolk pines? Oh, that’s right, I was telling you about Detective-Sergeant ‘Honest’ Basil Hicks Crime Intelligence Report made on 22 January 1974 in relation to the McCulkin Three’s disappearance.

We had got up to the bit where DS Bazza has a quick chat to the 13yo old Janet Gayton, the little girl who lived across the road from Barbara McCulkin and her kids, and then failed to check her story about Vicki and Leanne McCulkin’s movements with her Mum or Dad, who allegedly hosted the party at which the kids were last seen.

It’s a tad odd that isn’t it? But nowhere near as odd as the fact that the kids dad was, as they say in the police statements, ‘known to police’ and had just been released from serving a stretch in maximum security at the Townsville Men’s Prison, and remained on parole at the time his daughters made their pivotal statements regarding the family across the road’s last know movements.

Why didn’t Queensland’s finest interview the last adults alleged to have seen the girls while they were still above the earth and breathing?

Use your brains. I’ve just answered that question.

And why hasn’t any journalist then or now thought to ask the question I’ve just posed to you and answered, and had a dig to find out why?

Now that’s a very good question. My answer is that they are not from Geebung, and therefore lack the ability to laterally think, but there are many other hypotheses, none of them particularly flattering to the members of the Fourth Estate.

But as Kylie always says, it’s never too late you’ve still got time. So now that you’ve been given the free tip PR release repeaters perhaps its time to pull your pens out of your mouths and your arses and take a quick crash course in investigative journalism.

It ain’t that hard.

Just duck over to the Supreme Court Law Library, or the electoral rolls, or the State Library, or the court registry, or the State Archives. It’s all there guys, you just gotta get off your arses and take a good hard look.

Therein end the episode tenth lesson.

To be continued