Geez I hope the bloody Beefcake can swim!

She may well now have a major Pyne in her arse, but Assetstacia’s still talking tough, declaring that the long predicted (by Archie at least) move to the cross-benches by the Cairns MP isn’t going to stop her from implementing her ambitious agenda, npo bloody way and don’t you worry about that.

What is that agenda exactly? Can someone remind me?

Oh thanks Mum, slogans.

Big slogans. Huge slogans. Giant-sized three word slogans.

Elvis Costello had Peace, Love and Understanding.

Bananarama wanted us all to show a bit of Love, Truth and Honesty.

Tony Abbott might have a whole lotta love, but he couldn’t spruik truth or honesty could he, for if he did someone might ask him about Big Peta, and then he’d be absolutely rooted, if ya pardon the pun.

So the Rabbit’s mantra was Hope, Reward, Opportunity.


When of course it wasn’t No Big New Taxes (only little and medium-size ones like the Parental Leave levy on business), Stop the Boats and Cut the Red Tape.

Paul Lekakis – obviously channeling the Rabbit – simply lisped Boom, Boom, Boom!

It used to be the favorite song of my my old mate Plug, in his Geebung days the biggest homophobe in Sunbury Street, and later a half-famous Gold Coast DJ.

I never had the heart to break the news to him about who exactly Paul Lekakis wanted to boom. Or not until the room filled up at our Bunger school reunion and I conned him into whacking it on the turntable with a big intro anyway. F*ck it was funny.

Michael Jackson’s thing was A,B,C, which was hardly a surprise given that his bedtime friends favorite shows were always Romper Room and Sesame Street.

Old Lionel Richie – who obviously shared Gorgeous George love of the little blue bottlers – was fond of warbling Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady.

And the lady herself?

What’s Premier Pannacotta’s menage of trois of slogans?

Driving innovation.

Driving investment.

Getting jobs.

Lucky she’s a politician isn’t it? Cos she’ll never make a songwriter.

And how is the Princess going to drive and get all these things?

She’s going to find them in Adani.

Or so she thinks. Me on the other hand thinks that Queensland’s insouciant ice-queen from Inala hasn’t yet woken up and realised that the world has changed around her; that Assetstacia’s still asleep at the wheel and dreaming, and that she’s in for a hell of a rude shock when the Awesome Foursome from the North come knocking on her door to shake her from her somnolent slumber.

After all, I don’t call Parliament the House of Broken Dreams for nothing, and if Ms Palaczszuk keeps parading down this promenade the only thing that she’s going to find in Adani is her career flushed into the sea and out to the Barrier Reef.

Mark my words.

Slogans are just so yesterday. But I’m an eighties sorta guy, so I’ll give ya one just for fun.

Bye, Bye, Baby.