Well, sucked in Kevvie. That is all that I can say.
The infallible KevBung poll has predicted its 27th election victory in a row, but rather than just cop the 50% interest in a day – it would take you a quarter of a century to earn it in a jug – old Kev got greedy and had to try to stretch the envelope, didn’t he?
Yep, that’s right, the old dodger snuck off for 4 Saturday nights in a row and conducted his own sneaky little SingPol at the Karaoke in the Bunger backroom, and look where it’s left him. Flat f*cking broke, that’s where, and that’s exactly where he deserves to land after pulling the old ‘oh sorry fella’s, I forgot to tell you about the referendum’ trick.
But I’ll tell you one thing for nothing, young Ugly Annie is even more smart than she is beautiful , and mark my words, that puts her intelligence off the radar, because while we all thought that she was following Kevvie’s tips this arvo and throwing Hedley Thomas’s ‘keep the change out of the pineapple luv’ tips this arvo, she was actually backing the referendum to get up, because without Kevvuie knowing she’d been sneaking up to the one-arm bandits room on her breaks and conducting the PokiePoll, and had worked out that the old fella had it all arse up.
(Editor’s note – Hedley, who had snuck over to the Bunger to breathe some real air after telling his wife he was playing golf with a few surgeons and business moguls at Indooroopilly, had one of his once in a decade winning days, and despite slinging Ugly Annie hundreds in the vain hope of a kiss on the cheek, still managed to take a motza home to the missus after jagging a sixty to one all up. Problem was that he was so pissed by the time his limo arrived at Brookfield that he thought he’d pull a Terry Clark and showered the marital bed with money, in large denominations. Of course shortly thereafter he had to run to the dunny to chunder, and by the time he came back befuddled and still blind, Mrs T had snaffled the folding hear into her brassiere and the last words he heard as he passed into a drunken coma were ‘Money? What money you tanked wank? You really need to lay off the piss. Her indoors was last seen entering the limo her full as a chook hubby had arrived in and heading toward the Hermes store in Queen Street Mall, which had agreed to conduct a special late night private opening for a woman with so much cash in her kick).
Hedley before and after his 60-1 windfall – I guess Cindy Lauper did warn us, didn’t she?
Anyway, all the https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp4suZ4jNXgmug punters that Kevvie tipped into Quirky got the cash, Ugly Annie hit the jackpot, Kevvie did his arse, and Hedley will wake up this morning with a headache and moths in his wallet and wonder what the hell happened last night?
Meanwhile old Archie and Ugly Annie are kicking back having a few quiet Moets and a bot of a cuddle, and the Bead-Twirler’s got a buggered ankle and can ring all she likes on the phone turned to silent but can’t do a damn thing about it, and hearts are breaking all over the wide brown land as the prettiest pair this side of Pinkenba laugh last and laugh longest, and do a little more than that to boot, but of course gentleman never tell.
Ugly Annie doesn’t seem to unhappy about the magic trampoline ride she’s just shared with old Archie does she?
And as for Hot Rod Harding and his silent backer the Branch Stacker?
Oh, the bloke who couldn’t cross the Rubicon, and was last seen being escorted out of town on a Scooter by Monica from the Bunger Bistro and her chaperone.
Bye bye Hot Rod! Say g’day to your new/old work mates at the merchant bank will ya old mate? Sorry it didn’t work out, but hey at least you got a lot of practice waving, and one day you might even realise that what you were doing was actually drowning.
And what’s that you’re shouting Mum?
Look at the scoreboard?
Is that really the tally? Archie 69 – the Branch Stacker, Nil?
Some people never learn do they sportsfans?