Don’t believe a word you hear out of Labor Party HQ about their internal polling showing that Hot Rod Harding’s headed for City Hall wearing the Brisbane Lord Mayoral cloak and chains, for the ALP’s claims have about as much merit as Peter Foster’s boasts that his diet slim tea will strip 10 kilos off your frame in a fortnight.
Think about it. If Labor really had polls showing that Hot Rod was looking like a winner they’d be touting them all over town. But the simple fact is that the clowns who couldn’t see the Pyne freight train coming at them – not even as it was 2 feet away travelling at 300km an hour and about to smash their majority into smithereens – are simply trying to keep their supporters and volunteers buoyed and bouncy, even though doing so means looking them in the eye while lying through your teeth.
Welcome to the ALP, 21st century style.
So you can forget all about the hot air emanating from Party HQ, and instead listen to the only poll in BrisVegas that matters a jot.
The KevBung Poll.
The most accurate poll in Australia, the one that has predicted the winners of the past 67 elections held at municipal, state and federal level in the wide brown land. It is the most scientific of all polls, conducted at the fountain of the Garden of Eden – trading name the Zillman Waterholes Sports Bar at the Bunger – by God himself, Kevvie the greatest Barman in the whole of BrisVegas, which of course makes him the greatest in the world.
And he’s a pretty handy pollster too, don’t you worry about that.
Kevvie reckons the Kevbung poll never fails, and those of us who get his inside mail know that he ain’t whistling dixie when he makes the claim. We’ve all got our bets on now, so Kevvie says I’m right to reveal the result to the public right now, and if you’re quick you can still get your money on with Sportsbet at $1.50 and earn a pineapple’s interest for every grey nurse you invest, which is far better than bank interest any day of the week.
Quirk in a cakewalk, with a margin of more than 5000 votes, that’s what Kevvie says.
And Kevvie’s never wrong.
So bye-bye Hot Rod, it was nice knowing ya son.
One way or the other though mate, you’ll always be a Macquarie Banker.
Ugly Annie, Kevvie’s offsider behind the bar in the Zillman Waterholes, gets dressed up early for Quirky’s victory party