Elmer Fudd – aka Elmer Funke Kupper – is f*cked.

And it is not the sleuths of the mainstream media – the folk who fall for the mendacious lies of malingerers like Andrew Zaf – that have f*cked him, it’s your crazed correspondent and the bloke named Kevvie who keeps me watered with pink lemonades in the Zillman Waterholes bar at the Bunger that have done the deed.

The dirty Dutchman Fudd, who for the past couple of years been paid a handsome $70 grand a week to keep the Australian Stock Exchange clean, has been all the while a devil with a digit in the dyke, a Dutchie dude as dirty as a sleazy swine steadily sucking a sow’s scooby snacks in Satan’s sodden swill.

He’s an out and out crook our Mr Fudd, a fraudster and bribe slinger, a goddamn greedy, grubby swine with a mail order Dutch degree that I’ll bet London to a Brick he never actually earned and almost certainly doesn’t hold.

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‘Geez Arch’ I hear you saying, ‘You’re coming on a bit thick aren’t you? What do you know? Why are you so sure of the Dutchman’s deceit?’

Well it’s elementary my dear Watson, even if the macularly challenged molecular scientists of the mainstream media (MSM) are unable to see that which is right before their very vacuous eyes.

This is it sportsfans, and I’m sure that you’ll get it even if the people who are paid to tell you such things don’t.

Our man Elmer was born in the land of red lights, legal dope and cheap window displayed porn on the 2nd of July 1965.

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That makes him all of seventeen years of age in the year 1983, and at best he may in a miracle just have matriculated with an OP or his HSC.

Yet the wabbit hunter claims both on his Linkedin profile and in his executive biography on Bloomberg that in the very same year he commenced his studies toward a ‘modular’ MBA from the dodgy Dutch Nyenrode private business university that cost $70 grand AUD, and thanks for coming.

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So the simple fact is thus;  if you are to swallow this clog-wearring con-artist’s crap – like the ANZ Bank and Tabcorp and the ASX and who knows how many  MSM genius journos have – then you have no option but to accept that the deceitful dyke fingering-f*cker started his Masters Degree when he was just 17 years old.

Maybe, just maybe, Elmer was a child genius and was kicking goals well before his contemporaries had even laced up their boots. But there’s just one problem with that proposition sportsfans.

This problem highlighted below.

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How on Holland’s flat earth can a bloke have earned a bachelors degree or gained at least 5 years management experience when he’s just seventeen years old, and his first name ain’t Albert and his last isn’t Einstein?

There’s only one answer isn’t there?

He couldn’t have.

It’s rabbit season alright. And we’ve all been taken for bunnies. Elmer f*cking Fudd is a fiend and a fraudster, and now thanks to a mug punter from the Bung he’s been sprung, and now only a cold, hard prison cell rather than a 7 figure honorarium awaits his Holland augured arse.

Perhaps old Fuddy can do a PhD on the Boer implementation of apartheid in South Africa while he serves out his time, and throw in a thesis on the execution of the Aussie Hero Harry ‘Breaker’ Morant just to the unpaid hours. The Nyenrode Business University in the Netherlands offers an online Doctorate; I’m sure old Elmer’s redundancy payout will cover the cost.

But how does a decent digger say ‘proceeds of crime’ in Dutch, that’s what I wonder?

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