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Well we’ve rumbled Big Jim Rundle, and that’s the fate that belongs to all racists, haters and so-called Christians who either can’t read the words that Jesus spoke, or refuse to recognise them, because the great man who died for our sins pronounced just one great big new commandment that we all should follow.
Love one another, as I have loved you.
Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Jew.
Black, white, red, yellow, brown.
Straight, gay, bi, trans.
Love one another.
It’s pretty f*cking simple isn’t it, and they are the three words that would end all wars if everyone who professed to believe in the Bible practiced them.
Yep, love is a wonderful thing, but I’ll give you one tip for free punters, even though the commandment demands peace and respect it doesn’t necessarily mean sitting back on your haunches and blowing kisses at every wog who moves, especially bionic wogs that reckon that the cockroaches down south of the river have it all over the Pineapple Kings when it comes to the noble pugilistic art of pinball.
I refer here of course to Gorgeous George, that plastic gangster of ill repute from the Emerald City who is more full of sh*t than the Fitzroy River Sewerage Works, talks a better game than Tyson Fury, and is about half as pretty.
The faux tough guy with the hotter than molten lava missus and sisters – I’d call him a thorn among roses, but thorns are better looking – reckons that he can douse a Bunger Boy any day of any week of any year on the four-legged theatre of skill and style, the time-honored pinball machine.
He’d have to be bloody kidding wouldn’t he? A Cockroach beating a Queenslander? Doesn’t the cuddly clown watch the footy? Is the blue-jerseyed joker insane?
I suppose that’s simply a rhetorical question, for after all the fat-boobed bolzo is a mad Cronulla Sharks fan, and they’ve won plenty of premierships haven’t they? Absolutely bloody zero, that’s how many.
But hey, their star players are Gusty Gallen, the sly-punch king-hit merchant who couldn’t knock Natty Myles down even when he wasn’t looking, and Ben the Barber, the bloke the Broncos kicked for touch faster than Bernborough rattled down the Randwick straight in ’46. so they’re travelling alright aren’t they?
About as well as Gorgeous George will be when he hits the pinny table against Archie.
Don’t you worry about that sportsfans.