Hey man, where did our goddamn industry go?

Didn’t we used to have a say in how things were run?

That was in the old days Gracie, things are different now.

It’s all about integrity, and bullsh*tted battlers chasing live lie-baited lures.

If you allow it to be of course.

Sorry Sportsfans, there’s a whole lot more legalesque manure through which you must wade if you are ever to understand the con-job that’s being pulled on you by virtue of the proposed Racing Integrity Bill, the ring-in that’s been registered before the starter has even turned on the barrier or boxes light.

But in my usual inimitable style, mad old Archie will try to tell in simple language that the average punters can comprehend.

Once upon a time – like right now – the Racing Queensland board had to work out What was best for the three racing codes in Queensland and work collaboratively across the industry to develop a plan to move racing as a whole forward.

In these salad days of old the RQ board were the captains of racing’s own ship, and had the power to autonomously decide the direction of the industry, and where the dough that gallops, trots and dogs earned would be spent.

And if the Minister who hadn’t been to the races more than once in her life – and then only in a political donor’s corporate marquee – didn’t like it, well then the bird who’s Mum was Gerry Bellino’s sister could go and get stuffed, because people that have been elected from the industry, and work in it every day, tend to know what’s good for them far better than some factional warrior from New Farm does.

That was then though, and if this week the Racing ‘Integrity’ Bill gets voted up in the House of Broken Dreams, then this is now.


The racing industry no longer sails its own ship.

Instead the Minister decides what goes, and what the Minister says is what bloody happens, full stop, no arguments or debate, and don’t you worry about that.

Of course the good racing folk still get to have a say. In fact its members can talk until they are blue in the face.

But they just shouldn’t expect Boat Race Grace to listen, because the law says that she doesn’t have to, and if c*ntrs like Heathcoate and the trainers association and the jockeys and the owners and the breeders and all those other idiots who think they know what’s best for racing want to carry on like pork chops, well let them go for their lives.

They’ll probably still be talking as the cranes move in and Doomben becomes an abomination of two hundred story high apartments, and the new development laws prescribe the rezoning of the flood plains of Albion Park into an affordable housing community built upon scrap metal landfill from the Wanless wastelands and re-named KevSeeMore Heights.

Oh yeah man, in this brave new world of Racing Integrity everyone’s a winner baby, everyone of course except the dude named Truth.