I’ve woken up this morning – oh all right Dad, I haven’t woken up, I just haven’t been to bed – and opened up the fish and chips wrapper that we probably wrongly call a newspaper named the Courier-Mail up here in Queensland, only to be immediately assailed by an incomprehensible imbecile who appears to believe that Little Johnny Howard and Smirking Pete Costello were the prophets sent to Earth, or Australia at least, by God to save us all from sin and salacious, unbridled expenditure.
The story in question – or the the ill-opinion piece if you like – can be read in full here. I would suggest that unless you are a PhD student doing your doctorate in psychosis you don’t bother, but hey, each to their own and look out for those gawd-danged Marxist social engineers will you? The bast*rds might try to reprogram you, and the next thing you know you’ll be zig-zagging all over town telling everyone that your name is Mark Latham.
Believing that Howard and Costello belong in the pantheon of greats is madness of and in itself. Where are this pair of 1950’s throwbacks now? Nowhere, that’s where, Howard having been tossed not just out of office, but out of his unlosable safe seat to boot, and Costello having done his usual shiver looking for a spine to run up trick and taking the bolt rather than manning up and entering a leadership challenge instead of mouthing off to the media about how others should exercise your right to divine leadership rather than you do the hard yards to make it happen.
We all know though that Howard and Costello are clowns, a pair of cocksure conmen who have been condemned to the dustbin of history by everyone other than ‘Rowdy’ Rowan Dean, a long-time smile and a shoeshine ad man who masquerades as a serious political commentator.
Or did until this morning anyway, for after reading the drivel he has splashed across two half pages of the guts of the tabloid rag you will never take this fool or his views seriously again. I dunno whether the bloke is simply the village idiot, or a half-caste reincarnation of Adolf of Austria, but the dude’s views are simply scary and scarily simpleton.
Is a clown of this caliber the best that Queensland’s only daily rag can offer up as an expert? The 9 year old DV victim from down the road whose dad served in Iraq and now serves it up to his son could do better than this, although the kid’s six year old brother probably shares Rowdy’s views, and could enunciate them better too.
The quokkas currently in charge of the Courier-Mail would have to be f*cking kidding wouldn’t they, unleashing this half-sucked lozenge on us a lion of the truth.
What bloody hope do we have?