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Either all the calculators are on the blink at Rampaging Rupert Murdoch’s joint and the news librarians off sick with the Westerly Wind Flu, or Courier-Mail hack Chris Honnery is a misguided fool leading the paper’s readers down the garden path, because his grandiose claims that with 125 000 punters through the door in 4 days this year’s Ekka attendance is turning out to be one of the best ever is so far wide of the mark that it doesn’t even land on the pitch.

I’ve got news for you Mr C.Honnery – who they say is known as 007 to his friends – and it’s all bad son. Bad for your reputation and credibility anyway. Here it is me old China Plate, and it will leave you looking sillier than an open-mouthed legless laughing clown with a gut full of ping pong balls.

125 ooo ghost train riders through the turnstile in four days ain’t no record sport. You’d need more than 80 000 paying punters a day to even get close, and on your numbers the crusty’s that run the these days half-sized and half-baked pumpkin scone exhibition are copping well less than half that record rate of over-priced strawberry sundae suckers smashing down the gates.

In fact the Ekka attendance to date ain’t even batting the RNA show average, that figure being by the RM Williams wearing crusty’s own estimation 40 000 a day or 400 000 in total, which means that with 6 days to play the home side is running 35 ooo tickets short of even being square as the show nears the halfway mark and prepares to turn for home.

One of the best year’s yet is it?

Only if you’re a News Limited journo with a faulty fact checker, or perhaps an avaricious property developer looking for an excuse to slice off another chunk or two from BrisVegas’s most expensive 50 week a year vacant lot, and I’ll bet you plenty of evens that 007 is going to be shaken not stirred when the final Ekka attendance numbers roll in and despite his spruiks they turn out to be under par.

But never mind. He always was a cunning linguist, James.