The born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Scotch-College attending, Vietnam War spruiking, State asset-selling, praise the rich and f*ck the poor and transfer the wealth to your mates, shag-up on your wife merchant and gazillion-millionaire Jeff Kennett has – despite his almost-redemptive role at the apex of Beyond Blue – always been a c*nt, the sort of bloke that a Bunger Boy wouldn’t piss on if he was on fire.
No f*cking way. It would be an absolute waste of a good leak that could be far better-expended upon a fetish-pleasing golden shower shared with the girlfriend whose old man owns the chop-shop down the road in Granite Street.
What game young Geebung lads would really do if we saw Jeff on fire is bolt like Usain to the old man’s shed to grab the accelerant, then burl back so and chuck it on so that we could watch the preening, pompadoured clown sizzle, just like his beloved but dingo-hearted Hawks season is sizzling.
Those brown and gold Hawthorn hollow men f*cking deserve it too after their spiritual oberfuhrer’s odious and utterly obscene views on racism and intolerable color-based hatred were exposed wide open yesterday when he opined that the mole who willfully and deliberately lugged a banana to the Adelaide Oval yesterday, just so that she could throw it at a brown-skinned bloke that she had never met and call him a monkey, should not only not cop a life-ban from the game, but shouldn’t cop a ban at all.
“It’s over the top!” Jumping-Jack Jeff boomed, declaring that the AFL honchos should “Just give the red-haired doll a reprimand!”
A bloody reprimand? This bloody Pauline Hanson-haired hater has just taken the world back 100 years to the days when the First People of our nation were called coons, boongs and niggers, and hurled a bloody soft-yellow spear at Eddie Betts and through the hearts of his people, for no other reason than his and their race, and Jumping-Jack Jeff reckons she should get off with a slap on the wrist with a wet-tram ticket?
F*ck me dead.
What sort of c*nt is Kennett?
What type of Crow Jim is the ranga sheila?
What kind of country are we?
I love Australia.
But geez sportsfans, sometimes I f*cking hate Australians.
Eddie Betts, you’re all right by me.
Solidarity brother, and peace in a time of madness.