A young tattooed-teen reckons Mum’s nailed the way to save the games!

Well the wind did howl and the wind did blow and la la la la la, la la la la lee, an inspiration came to a hot Geebung girl named Maggie.

She’s a genius that bloody bead-twirler! Oh yeah, the little sexter is sportsfans and don’t you worry about that. She’s worked out how to save the bloody Games!

Times short and Aussie faces are long so instead of mucking around with my usual flowery and satirically-invective well structured prose, I’ll cut straight to the chase and tell you the unblushing bride’s plan.


Closing ceremony carnivale.

Sex in the stadium.

Kits off. Tits swaying in the home strait, and heaving on the turns.

Jiggling javelin throwers thrusting their spears all over the show. Smooth-skinned swimmers showing that when it comes to all things Brazilian, Aussies do it better. Hot as hell hurdlers shaking their groove thing and letting it all hang out. Big Liz Cambage sashaying like Sheba as she does the Cleopatra shimmy past the red-hot cauldron.

Usain Bolt unveiling his nuts. Michael Phelps filling the sheilas in on what they were missing out on in those years that he was bent over a bucket bong. Patty Mills bouncing his pills down lane eight. Bulgarian boxers in their birthday suits. That Tongan dude from the Opening Ceremony schlonging his tongs as they boom out the Olympic song (what is it again?)

Yes World, the bead-twirler’s come up with an idea bigger and better than Archimedes eureka, or bloody Isaac Newton’s apple. And it all boils down to just one simple concept expressed in three simple words.

Nude Ceremony Samba.

How good is that?

She’s not just a pretty face is she my sheila?

Not even ow.