Wayne Bennett’s scarlet defacto bride (above), and surfer Layne Beachley (below)


So the once-Saintly  Knight and Horseman – and one time Father of the Year – has walked out on his missus and disabled kids in favour of a blonde with fake tits who looks like an aged Layne Beachley, although the comparisons end there, for the champion surfer doesn’t have bolt ons, is happily married, and isn’t a homewrecker, unlike Benny ‘Faded’ Superstar’s new bird.

It’s a dog act it is, what Bennett’s gone and done, and such a gross violation of the Geebung Code that the minute the news broke Kevvy ripped down all the Broncos flags in the Zillman Waterholes bar at the bunger and before you could say Michael Morgan the old fella had replaced them with fluttering pieces of Cowboys cloth.


“What would you bloody expect from a bloke who bashed our brown Bunger brothers!” Kevvy ranted as he tore down the Broncos gear.”Leopards and Zillmere boys never change their spots, and you can never trust a bloody copper, even if he once was a damn good footy coach. And besides, he’s a bloody teetotaller!”

That of course was the end of the matter, even for the staunchest of Broncos supporters at the Bunger, and Bennett will never again darken the door of the greatest RSL in the greatest city in the greatest state in the greatest nation in all the world, even if he is raising money for charity, because it begins at home and Wayne has just destroyed his.


That’s that then, and if you start making excuses for the cuckolded coach’s behavior then you’re a wanker or wankess, but hey what about the bloody mainstream media turning Benny’s sheila into a glamour hey? I’ve seen better heads on the Sprog’s pimples, and just like my dear old Granny always said, no amount of breast augmentation surgery (the crude old bugger called them tit lifts) can turn a sow’s purse into a silk ear, can they sportsfans?

What about his missus hey? You know, the wife of 40 years and mother of his kids? How the f*ck do ya reckon she feels as the mainstream donkeys go ga-ga over a hitherto anonymous piece of worn leather with bolt ons? Not too f*cking good I reckon.

Bennett’s reputation these days is akin to his marriage and his footy coaching career, or will be anyway after the word about Kevvy’ ban gets around.


Just like the Broncos and the Blonde.

Don’t you worry about that.