Well punters, ya all know the old saying don’t ya?
Every Wog has its day.
And although it’s taken 50 years – just a tick over the second of the day way back when that the balding, botoxed, bottle-black haired Bougatsa biter was born – but the plastic fantastic ouzo guzzling ‘look at me I’m a gangster armed with me Mum’s gold Amex’ Gorgeous George has finally had his.
Gorgeous George way back in ’66 – threatening to pummel his glamour of a sister for laughing as the Sharks got smashed game after game in their debut season
After all these years he’s still threatening to punch her, but the spunk of a sister is laughing at her little brother still – and gee Geebung gals and gentleman – hasn’t George aged well!
Oh, and hasn’t the wog bast*rd let me know all about it too.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve been bagging big-boobed Gorgeous all year about his pre-season declaration that 2016 was the year of the Shark, reminding one and all and anyone else at the Bunger RSL who would listen that Confucius say that its the year of the Monkey, which if I was right was pretty much one and the same cos Gorgeous scratches his armpits exactly the same way that Clyde did in Every Which Way But Loose.
But I wasn’t tight sportsfans. Oh no. I was wrorrrrrr…..
That’s right, I was wrorrrrr……
And the Ralph Malph look-alike descendant of Alexander the Great was right, for the first bloody time in his half-decade plus of a life.
Well the second really, because he did once upon a time acquiesce to an arranged marriage with a beauty queen, and for six months or so it made him look like Sydney’s biggest stud rather than a Rudolph Valentino rude boy in beaded budgie smuggler wannabe.
Valentino and Valentine Holmes’ biggest fan – Sharks after dark the pair of them
But like the best of mail order immigration scams – not that it was, George’s mum just wanted him to look to the world as if he was straight – the marriage lasted for the exact time plus one second that it took for the shared-asset family laws to kick in, and then it was a 40/20 spiral punt for old Gorgeous and the Goddess got both the scrum and the feed, and our old Wog mate was left back pedaling in defence and is walking backwards still with the hot chick’s finger pointed in his face telling him to do the damn washing then iron it and put it on hangers and bloody hurry up about it too.
What’s that Mum? I’m being childishly churlish? I thought you were bloody dead! How come you’re still haranguing me and sticking up for that wanton Westie Wog?
Oh, because he’s a good sort, and because you promised to come back to haunt me when Cronulla lifted the cup. Fair enough on the latter – Bunger birds never back down on their word – but fair suck of the sav old girl, your eyesight’s gone to sh*t since you were cremated, and just because the Bead Twirler shares your odd opinion of a Lothario’s looks doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s right.
But yes Mum it does mean that I was wrorrrrr….. well sort of anyway.
Sorry about the six months of sledges George. You were right son, spot on, the Sharkies were the real deal from the first round on.
I didn’t want to tell you buddy for fear of putting the mock on, missing the chance for a cheap sledge, and turning the the pansies season into a pumpkin, but the Twirler and I had a few bucks on at the $26 on offer before the season kicked off, and then a few bucks more, and now we’ve bought a new joint with the winnings.
Drop down to the wharf on Christmas Eve Gorgeous and we’ll give you a guided tour around the house. Benny’ll be aboard so he can show you what 6 premierships in 28 years look like too.