Gorgeous George and Archie on their annual vacation together in the States with the fellas – the sheilas just can’t keep their hands off us r leave either of us alone.

Phone: Ring ring, ring ring.

Gorgeous George: Is that you Mum?

AJB: Nah buddy it’s Archie. How’re they hanging buddy?

GG: Loose buddy, loose.

AJB: Yeah, tell me about it stud….

GG: Well Arch I got thrills, and they’re multiplying, and I’m losing control ….

AJB: Oi Oi Oi Gorgeous! Enough of that! Don’t get worked up son – I was just bloody making small talk. Waddya like in the Big One?

GG: I was just trying to tell ya about the big one buddy ….. .

AJB: No George, I’m not talking about Mr Strong.

GG: ….   but you cut me short

AJB: That was’t me buddy, it was the bloody  doctor. Forget that though, give the punters your hot tits in The Cup.

GG: It’s your missus who’s got the hot tits Archie – the good judges tell me that her cups runneth over these days.

But the fellas say that more than a handful or half a dunny drawer’s a waste, so let me give ya my cup tips instead.

They came to me in a dream I had about Rhianna last night.


1st: Jameka

Did I Arch?

Who said that?

(Gorgeous smiles and Winx)

Nah buddy, not me.

She came of her own accord.


2nd: Secret Number

Secret number?

What bloody number?

Thanks for the tip Arch.

The Sultan’s Salaam! and Salami! boys still haven’t found it yet.


3rd: Bondi Beach

I just go down there for a swim buddy, and to look at the pretty girls.

A bikini a day keeps the doctor away, you taught me that Arch.

Those sheila’s at Bondi understand our way of life down under buddy.

After all, it doesn’t get better than lying down on the golden soil and looking up at the southern stars does it Archie ….



4th: Heartbreak City


The poor old Mauler – he had such high hopes about the first Tuesday in November back when he was acting like a kid..

It’s not my fault that the show pony got gelded at the Royal Commission just before his 2016 Cup campaign began.

Well … maybe …..but only the best ride a Cup winner Archie, and the Mauler might be better placed in the Amateur Cup at Manangatang if ya know what I mean ….

Hey buddy, are the dunnies out there big enough to hold a meeting for two in? And do they have drawers?

I need somewhere to put my all the dough when I nail the trifecta in The Cup on Tuesday.