Oh, I got a little creature, I suppose you’d call him a pet,
If he ever has taken crook, I never have to see the vet.
He goes everywhere that I go, if I’m sleeping or awake,
God help me if I ever lost, me one-eyed trouser snake.

Chorus:

Oh me one-eyed trouser snake,
Oh me one-eyed trouser snake,
God help me if I ever lost,
Me one-eyed trouser snake.

One day I got reading in an old sky pilot’s book,
About two starkers innocents who made the world go crook,
They reckoned it was a serpent that made Eve the apple take,
Crikey, ’twas no flaming serpent, ’twas Adam’s one-eyed trouser snake.

I met this arty sheila who I’d never met before,
And something kind of told me she banged like a dunny door,
I said, “Come up and see my etching,” she said, “I hope it’s not a fake,”
She wasn’t disappointed with me one-eyed trouser snake.

So come all you little sheilas and listen to me song,
The moral of the trouser snake is as short as it is long,
Beware of imitation, don’t lock your bedroom door,
When me pajama python bites you, you’ll be screaming out for more.