‘English Rose’ Jackson, the daughter of ABC journalist Liz Jackson – who graduated from the Inns of Court School of Law in London – was once famous in Labor circles for being a vacuous airhead who didn’t know the difference between a pavlova and Ivan Pavlov, the pioneer psychologist who uncovered the  conditioned response (see above).

Now, just 7 years later she’s the party’s NSW Assistant Secretary, but judging by her outburst published in a recent edition of The Australian, a fair minded observer would have to say that English Rose’s grip on reality doesn’t seem to have improved much during the period of mirror-breaking bad luck.

Neither it seems has the straight, white, female, factional appointee’s grasp of basic facts or her ability to self-reflect, for in a rambling polemic no doubt aimed at increasing her profile ahead of her inevitable entry to the NSW Parliament via an ALP Electoral College factional deal, English Rose – the textbook example of a factional career climber – has lambasted the structure and form of the the State ALP, slamming it as sexist, ­homophobic, too white, undemocratic and highly factionalised.

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It’s dead set the classic case of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ hypocrisy from a hack who jumped straight from university into well-paying union jobs and influential roles in the ALP, primarily because she was young, female and a pin up girl of the left faction, although it was really more of a case of do as I sort of say anyway, because about 3 seconds after she makes this gushing and obviously heartfelt outburst English Rose, as she is wont to do when breathing in high altitude media attention air, becomes confused and dizzy and forgets the basic premise of her argument.

Unable still to steer the prosecution of a simple argument from barrier to box, the beneficiary of high-powered ALP patronage all of her adult life reverts to the Pavlovian reflex conditioned during the heady days of her august career in university politics and stoops to the barren-soul revealing depths that all self-proclaimed Labor feminists, no matter how ostensibly wedded to the cause of the advancement of women they may be or at least say they are, ultimately stoop.

She attacks the chicks on the other team.

Not the blokes – the birds. Calls them absolute f*cking morons, which is pronounced ‘lacking sense’ in upper class Eastern Suburbs private schoolgirlese, that language spoken by the over-represented minority group whose parents can afford to shell out 30 grand plus a year to give them a leg up over the mass of daughters of dirty unwashed working class stiffs who once were as sure as eggs to grow up and vote Labor, but these days throw their votes to Hanson or Howard or any idiot who is either like, or prepared to lower themselves to pretending that they are like, them.

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These are the folk that swing elections, the birds who became Howard’s battlers and kept the unlikeliest of ladies men Little Johnny in power for all those years. These are the sheila’s who shanghaied Pauline back into Parliament, or into the Senate at least, but many of these ladies who left school at 15 don’t really understand the difference.

I’m sure English Rose would accuse me of being a c*nt of 27 different varieties for saying the above, but that’s ‘cos she’s a political idiot who is far out of touch with what should be her core constituency that she’s closer to the moon than they, and clearly doesn’t have a clue how to read an election result, either booth by booth or seat by seat or even bloody across the board.

On the other hand, and said with due modesty, I know how to read the card, and have won every campaign that I’ve managed bar one in the outer satellite suburbs of Darwin a few years ago, but when your defeated independent candidate pulls double digits of a zero base and gains enough votes that his preferences will decide the government then I don’t count it at too much of a loss at all.

Yep, my candidate could have flipped the bloody whole Northern Territory government and would have too if only the then Labor leader wasn’t such a venal, corrupt, aggressive, abusively threatening and useless imbecile that it made it absolutely unpalatable to hand her our preferences, and so we didn’t, and thus the north was won.

More importantly however, I am eminently qualified to comment on these spunkrats lack of political nous, because unlike English Rose I grew up with the good lookers who swing, and I still enjoy their company at the Bunger and other local footy clubs and RSL’s within a fifteen buck cab ride of the Geebung Polo Club.

English Rose though reckons that she knows better. She says bugger the battlers, what NSW Labor should be doing is chasing the dragon, and the Greeks, and the Lebanese, and all the other culturally and linguistically diverse group of Australians new and old who live in ethnic enclaves and are unable to speak our lingo, as if the party hasn’t been doing so for decades anyway.

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Heard of Eddie Obeid, bringer of the Lebanese votes anyone? What about his mate Joe Tripodi, Australian born but a conduit to ethnic voters?  Or Iranian born Sam Dastyari and his mate Mark Arbib, the son of Libyan immigrants? And wasn’t there recently a bilingual NSW Premier named Morris Iemma? And a Canadian called Kristina Keneally, who spoke some bizarre language from out of space that no voter could understand?

Let’s not overlook the current caucus of NSW ALP MP’s either.

Anoulack Chanthivong, born in Laos.

The Sudanese born Egyptian Edmond Atalla.

Jihab Dib, brother of the boxer Billy, both formerly of Lebanon.

The son of Jewish holocaust survivors Ron Hoenig.

Nick Lalich, born in an Egyptian refugee camp.

Walter Secord, son a full blooded Native American of the Mohawk-Ojibway people, born on a reservation in Ontario in which he spent the first 17 years of his life.

The son of Sicilian immigrants Guy Zangari.

Sophie Costis, daughter of Greek parents who found post-war peace in Australia.

The list goes on, and if like me you are beginning to suspect that English Rose is yanking the wrong chain about better engagement with culturally and linguistically diverse communities, then you are not alone. It leaves one to wonder whether English Rose simply a moron who fails to see the obvious contradiction in her argument, or whether she is simply pushing a barrow that she hopes may one day carry her directly into pre-selection for a safe seat.

It’s not poor English Rose’s fault though. It’s all those bloody factions with their narrow, partisan interests that are absolutely ruining the ALP. Someone should do away with the bastards.

Someone just like English Rose.

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