On Monday night we gave you the exclusive trans-Tasman tip that the hapless New Zealand Labour leader Andrew ‘Chicken’ Little was going to be forced to walk the plank the next morning and that Jacinda Arden was going to replace him, and as per usual we were right.
We also predicted that Labor would gain a sudden bounce in the polls as a consequence and after being all but dead, buried and cremated would find themselves suddenly back in the pre-election game big time and with an unimaginable a week ago fair dinkum chance of seizing government, and we were right about that too.
Landing the trifecta by pronouncing Arden the best looking Labour leader in white Kiwi history was as sure a bet as backing the All Blacks to beat the Wallabies in a Bledisloe Cup game played at Eden Park, so we won’t boast too much about that one – did I mention that we told you so? – and scoring the first four by labeling the hot new leftists leader a modern-day iteration of Helen Clark wasn’t too hard either.
The bead twirler and the tin lids with Aunty Helen five minutes after I’d sly-elbowed a sheila to get the ball and kick the winning goal in the Labor Party sports day soccer cup final. I’m somewhere in the background distance bolting from the fist-waving feminists
After all, I came through in the same new candidate cohort as all this mob in 2008 – didn’t even have to renounce my Aussie citizenship either – before my PTSD got the better of me and I pulled the pin on the promise of a future parliamentary career. But I know all the players, and understand the lay of the Kiwi political land.
So flushed with our own soothsaying success we’ll go out on a limb now and shoot for five in a row.
Here’s the prediction: within a week young Jacinda’s deputy, the former high school headmaster Kelvin Davis, will be wearing a red flower on his lapel, just like Aunty Helen’s 2IC Michael Cullen used to do.
What price will you give me?
Watch this space.