I’ve heard about the new BrisVegas with the neon flashing nights; back then there wasn’t much to do except watch the traffic lights

I love you Brisbane, I don’t want to fight.

Will you love me in the morning, if I lie with you tonight?

A few weeks ago I started writing a few stories busting open the fiddles being pulled while racing burns in Queensland, and as you’d expect I’ve rattles a few cages, stirred up some hornets nests and attracted plenty of anonymous opprobrium from cowards who don’t have the ticker to put their boof heads up above the parapet but still have plenty to say, although none of it of course directly to my pretty face.

It’s water off a ducks back in the main, because when you’ve been kicking around the tracks and pubs and the halls of the House of Broken Dreams as long as I have sportsfans you learn to expect the knockers and mockers and absolute shockers to have a red hot crack when they’ve copped one in the jaw and they’re staggering.

If you pay your money you can’t whinge about taking the ride can you? Not if you’re fair dinkum anyway, and telling the type of truths that are likely to drop a whole lot of d*ckheads who’ve done the wrong thing into a fast-sinking and well-deserved mire.

But there’s just one thing that’s really worrying me sportfans.

I think Slippery Sam Adams wants to be me.

Yes, yes, I know it sounds a bit far fetched, but have a close look at the form guide and I reckon you’ll start to understand what I mean. It’s bloody uncanny it is.

Let me step you through it.

Slippery Sam’s tied up in the horse racing game, has been a member of the Brisbane Racing Club, and has worked for the State’s principal racing authority.

Me too.

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(BTW – does anyone remember old Chas Smith who used to manage race day operations back in the ’80’s? Bloody nice bloke he was too, and a damned good boss to boot. And what about young Lester Grimmett the handicapper? He was and remains another of nature’s gentleman from that golden era of first-class racing fellas, and taught me more about distance, weights and measures in a few short months than Professor Julius Sumner Miller could have in ten long years. Lester’s been banging on for four decades about retiring from the game and becoming a recreational fisherman. Guess the only problem is you need to back a winner to buy the bait).

When he was at the Brisbane Racing Club Slippery Sam used to work with George Freeman’s press room phone pal Bart Sinclair.

I used to work with Bart once too.

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At least Harto liked me!

Dead set sportsfans there’s some crazy sort of symbiosis between the lives of me and Slippery Sam, and the racing and media connection’s only the beginning.

As a young man Slippery was awarded a scholarship to complete his education.

Me too.

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Slippery was the captain of McGregor High School.

I wasn’t silly enough to put my hand up for that gig at Geebung Primary. Too much bloody work involved after school when a young bloke could be out playing cricket with his Bunger Boy mates instead.

So I became Vice Captain instead.

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Starting to get sort of eerie isn’t it sportsfans?

I might well have been the dux at the Bunger Academy as well, but we were brought up in Geebung to believe that only w*ankers boasted about such things.

Now it’s about to take a turn for the wacky and weird.

Slippery Sam named the company he uses for his Bet Fairy rort Year of the Monkey.

That’s because he was born in the Year of the Monkey.

I was born in the Year of the Monkey too.

Slippery Sam studied and worked in the law.

Me too.

Slipper Sam lives in Raceview Ave at Hendra, the street directly backing on to the Doomben Racecourse.

I was always more an Eagle Farm man myself. That’s why I used to live in Mein Street, the street running along the back straight of the once great course that Whimpey Dave and the boys turned into a sandpit.

Slippery Sam used to work for Clayton Utz.

I got sued by them once.

(I won too).

Slippery Sam likes Fairies.

Shaun the best man at my wedding’s a fairy. So’s his husband Chris.

Thankfully the trouble and strife (in the picture with the best man) isn’t.

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Slippery Sam’s been in the employment courts firing up a dispute about the termination of his employment recently.

A couple of years ago I was there too.

(I won that one as well).

Here’s the bit that’s going to spin you out though sportsfans, and probably do our man Mr Adams head in too.

Slippery Sam studied Commerce/Law at Griffith University .

I did too.

Slippery Sam studied at Griffith Uni in 1998.

Guess who was in the same class for a number of number of his subjects?

No it wasn’t only former Greens Senator Larissa Waters.

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You just couldn’t make a story like this up could you?

What are the odds do you reckon?

We’ve probably even shagged the same bird at least once or twice in our lives, although hopefully not each others wives. I’ve always liked the younger model, and luckily for me many of them seem to like me too.

I wonder what marks Slippery got in Ethics and Crime Prevention?

Shame he seems to have forgotten the lessons we learned back then.

I didn’t, and I guess at the end of the day that’s the fundamental point of difference that sets us apart.

It’s a small world though isn’t it sportsfans?

A real small, small world.