Brisbane Racing Club CEO David George Whimpey (Whimpey Dave) and his sidekick Samuel Guy Adams (Slippery Sam) spent about ten grand all up trying to register the patent for a brand new scam they invented to profit from their positions of public office.

The general idea was to give Tatts a soft run on their wagering agreement obligations, and in return get affiliate commission kick backs for a whiz. bang new invention that the pair had come up with after sucking down 17 bucket bongs while sitting in front of Slippery’s seventy inch Sony while watching fetish porn.

Unfortunately few new ideas throughout history have ever dreamed up by a pair of middle aged stoners choofing on gnarly hydro buds of Dr THC Dream, and so as it was before so it was again.

Slippery and Whimpey D f*cked up.

Putting a couple of dice in a cup, shakin’ em up and pouring em out is apparently not a brand new and novel idea, according to the United Nations patent mob anyway. They reckon its been going on since Caesar’s day if not before, and that Mr Hasbro – hey Bro! High five! – who holds the rights to Yahtzee had cornered the market long ago.


The green-powered pink fairy wasn’t very inventive either apparently.

The international patents mob reckoned a bird named Princess Elsa who wasn’t frozen in time by the hypnotic effects of THC had beaten our favorite cone jockeys to the punch.

The logic was hard to argue with really.

Whimpey D and Slippery were declared uninventive.

Those who’d taken the shorts landed a cent for every dollar they’d thrown on the good thing, and if they’d chucked a full grand on they’d now be able to afford to buy a beer at the Country Music race day.

They’d need to have outlaid 2 grand to cover the 2-man shout though.


Pissing the cash up would surely have been preferable to pissing it away.

But no-one ever suggested that Slippery or his mate were even half smart, as the international patents mob discovered as soon as they looked at the application that the pair of clowns had submitted.

Ten odd grand later and all the fly highers had done was lodge an application for a patent that didn’t even meet the rules.

Lucky it wasn’t their money I guess.

Hey has anyone seen the 2017 BRC annual report yet?