2011 – Year of the Rabbit
Dawson, Bell and Slippery Sam are on the board.
Kevin Dixon is in charge and for all his perceived faults he is not one for lavish spending with someone else’s money, so the all up Board and Executive expenses bill is a most reasonable and properly constrained $14 odd grand, most of spent on sending the CEO somewhere useful to represent the club.
The total Directors spend on themselves in only 3 grand.
2012 -Year of the Dragon
Little Dickie Morrison joins the board.
Kevin Dixon is still in charge for the first 10 months of year, and the Directors can’t take advantage of his resignation in April by pissing off overseas because in May and June the Winter Carnival’s in full swing, so the Board and Executive spend remains a relatively modest 11 and a half grand.
The Director’s spend is only just over $4 000.
2013 – Year of the Snake
Nifty Neville Bell becomes Chairman and the brakes come off.
The grog bill doubles and the Director’s travel expenses are suddenly six times what they were the year before, and in the space of a year instead of spending 4 grand of the members money they are now splashing out nearly $18 000 of OP’s (other people’s) cash.
The total expense bill for the Directors and Executive is now almost 26 grand, a tick under 2 1/2 times what it was the year before.
As Karen Carpenter said when she was still eating though, we’ve only just begun.
2014 – Year of the Horse
Whimpey Dave is appointed CEO and forms a double team with Nifty Nev and the snouts go straight into the trough.
The grog bill suddenly triples, travel almost doubles and the total Director spend ends up nearly twice what it had been in the year before.
But baby you ain’ seen nothing yet.
2015 – The Year of the Goat
Whimpey Dave goes on overseas fact finding mission. His goal is to find the best hotel room in Europe. Judging by the size of his travel bills he succeeds. The room service bills are not audited for pay for view titty shows and jelly wrestling extravaganzas.
The overall Board and Executive spend goes up 12 grand, or 25%.
But B-b-b-b-baby you still ain’t seen nothing yet
2016 – The Year of the Monkey
Gleeson, Schatz, Shepherd and Svenson join the board.
The new Directors must travel to Royal Ascot and on to the Kentucky Derby on a team building exercise, because the travel bill quadruples and what was a 10 grand spend just 5 years ago is now nudging $100 000.
The combined entertainment and travel bill almost doubles, an is now over $110 000.
2017 – The Year of the Rooster
The Board of Directors and the CEO remain unchanged, and with the stability of tenure the boys settle in to their trough snouting stride.
Nifty Nev must have gone on the wagon because the grog bill drops by 2/3rds.
The Directors spend in travel increases marginally – the price of Bollinger must have gone up at Royal Ascot – but new CFO Big Basil Jong doesn’t like the races, so he passes on the boys only trip overseas, and as a result the overall Board and Executive expenses bill falls by the price of his travel package to just under $100 000.