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A portrait of the artist as a young man, leading the Open cross country relay team to victory at age just 14, the youngest kid in the team and the anchor runner. Did I hear some old bloke on the board of the BRC declare that Archie couldn’t stay?

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A portrait of the artist as an Indonesian musical instrument player. The captains are normally posed in the centre of the team pictures aren’t they?

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A portrait of the artist’s first overseas trip, the one that led him to develop a life long interest in the languages of Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia

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A portrait of the artist as a young man with his eldest daughter, whose grand father is a Malaysian fella who loves the races just as much as Archie does. How do you think I met the missus? At an art gallery or something? Puh-lease!

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A portrait of the street in which Archie’s auntie and uncle live. Nifty Live lives there too, just a few houses down the road toward the sand mine owned by his Malaysian mates.

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A portrait of the artist’s eldest daughter with the horse-loving grandfather and her police detective husband, printed only because he threatened to harm me if I didn’t show his missus in all her adult beauty and glory. If your son-in-law had guns like that and another one on his hip would you argue with the bastard?