The Chairman of the BRC Nifty Nev Bell turns 70 today, and we wish him all the best as he prepares to spend his golden years in the penthouse at Ascot Green that some modern day George Moore blew the whistle and gave him the inside run on buying, or on paying the deposit for at least.

Soon he will be able to sit on his wrap around 360% deck and shovel cheap Moet bought at cost price plus 10% down his throat while he surveys his kingdom and watched the plebs down below where there once used to be a paddock enclosure paying thrice the Whimpey Dave elevated price to scull the same fizzy piss.

Nifty is the greatest chairman in the history of the BRC you see, as a third of his minions at the early birthday bash that he hoped in vain to claim as a Director’s hospitality expense for the Australian Racing Awards reared up on their hind legs at Nifty’s luncheon bash on Sunday to tell him, Sir Jeffrey Kennett, Wilson ‘Ironbar’ Tuckey, the disgraced racehorse trainer Mick Mair who escaped a spell in the can by a bees dick after a jury couldn’t reach a unanimous verdict in his sexual assault against a young girl trial, and the 72 other guests sculling cheap high-class grog and scoffing down posh grub at Eagle Farm while attended by 25 hand maidens and misters.


Nifty should have a birthday party every day I reckon.

After all the way the Eagle Farm track renovation’s going it’s the only workout that the Southern Hemisphere’s biggest $2.6 million screen is going to get before it becomes obsolete isn’t it?

But hey didn’t Dale Monteith say that the track needed to be ripped up, the sand relaid and blended and the turf sod anew?

Didn’t he say that it needed to settle in for 3 months prior to racing on it again?


Didn’t he say that racing should resume in late February, and then that the track should be oversod with rye grass in the first week of March if it is to be ready for the Winter Carnival?

By my calculation three months before the end of February is the end of November, and that’s only 6 weeks away.

So what’s all that green stuff on the track under Nifty Nev’s Happy Birthday greeting in the Sky Heights colours on the little used $2.6 million semaphore board?

It looks like crap Kikuyu grass seeded in even more crap wrong sized sand to me.

What odds do you want about the Winter Carnival being run at headquarters next year?

I’ll give you 33-1, and let you on for plenty.

Nifty Nev the greatest chairman in Queensland Racing history?

Yeah good.

Next you’ll be telling us that the Rooster’s Vince Curry.