Flushed with his success in alienating the corrupt members of every race club and peak body in the nation, and full of piss after a day on the Redcliffe Trots punt at the Bunger with the Rooster, a fortnight ago Archie decided to launch himself head first into the racehorse ownership caper, and after drunkenly pushing BID on an outstanding Cup prospect in an online auction woke up the next day to find himself the proud owner of a promising New-Zealand bred mare that in his stupor he’d bought for $460 the evening before.
Unfortunately Archie discovered upon awakening that there were a few obstacles to the purchase, but using the power of positive thinking he – I – transformed these problems into solutions ready to be solved by winners.
And thus the issues surrounding a gin-soaked Geebung genius securing a 7 year old mare with a race record that reads 36 – 0 – 1 – 5 who sleeps soundly tonight in a straw-lined box in the Wairarapa, just east over the Rimutaka Range from Wellington, New Zealand and being short of the readies to pay her purchase price and the cost of transporting the Cup hopeful across the Tasman Sea to her new home in Vegas aren’t really issues at all, not to the winners in this world anyway.
They are opportunities.
The Rutah we call Maggie around the stable has shown extraordinary ability right from the get go
Huge opportunities, ones that will see you in the birdcage at Flemington next November and make you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams along the way.
It’s lucky that I’m not a greedy sort of cove sportsfans, because it would be all too easy to keep the secret of success and the whole whack of loot waiting to be won all to myself.
I want to share the love.
So my friends here is your exclusive offer to shed the chains of the mundane, dare to dream and learn to fly.
It turns out that the mare I bought while in a two schooner Rooster led stupor is in fact the mother of the 2021 Golden Slipper in waiting, and has a few late in life wins in her to boot, and I’ve plotted a schedule that will her paid for, loaded on a trans-Tasman flight, and landed in Vegas before the bells of the month of November ring twelve.
All I need to pull it off is you sportsfans.
You and $200 bucks, for which you will receive in return a share in the great mare Carrington Park – soon to be renamed Shezamadrutah, in honour of my ever-loving missus – a ticket to the owners section of members arenas at race tracks across the planet, a whole lot of fun, plenty of profit, a near-certain plastic replica of The Cup to place in the pool room, and a 1% share in the about to become world beater with the stable name of Maggie.
But wait, there’s more!
If you purchase one or more of the 1% shares in Shezamadrutah within the next 24 hours you will also be able to save her from the glue factory by ensuring that Archie can pay the auctioneer the half a ton due and owing upon the fall of the gavel and payable last Tuesday.
The syndicate is going to be called WeRallmadrutahs, and I now magnanimously invite you to join the Rutah loving group or racing lovers and become a Madrutah too.
Be there or be squared and get in straight away, because no doubt tickets will be selling like hotcakes and if you don’t move fast you’re a bird to run last.
Just four pineapples ($200) and no more to pay for anything for the next three months, that’s all it will cost you to live the dream.
You can buy as many shares as you like and want, provided you can stump up the dough for each percent that you purchase by Wednesday of next week.
Email me at email@example.com with your name, details the number of shares that you want to snaffle and you’re in like Flynn sportsfans.
It’s the opportunity of a lifetime my friends, and if you pass it up then you’re going to both miss out on all Maggie’s undoubted future glory, cost yourself an absolute potential packet, and condemn a poor, innocent gold-edged future Group 1 winner a fast trip down a fireman’s pole from greatness to the glue factory.
Don’t be a mug, or a cold hearted animal welfare disregarding c*nt.
Just $150 per hundredth share will save a horse’s life, and transform your own.
Email me now and GET ON before it’s too late.
The bird whose stable name Shezamadrutah bears wants you to pop your head out and stride aboard.
Who in their right mind would say no to the offer of a four pineapple share in next year’s Cup winner, and a complimentary ticket to share a ride to heaven with Maggie?
200 bucks is all it takes for you to become a Madrutah readers.
It’s first in best dressed, so hurry and jump aboard.
Shezamadrutah is in her box waiting.