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Just like my cricketing career on the day that I bowled two overs for the Geebung Primary Academy and knocked over Pinkenba State School’s last 5 batsmen for zip, this young filly above once looked oh so promising.

I wasn’t to know that there were only 6 boys in the Grade 6/7 composite class at Pinkenba, and that they’d plucked numbers 7 to 11 in the batting order from the Year 3/4/5 mixed class was I? They all looked so big, and had deep voices and beards. It was only years later that I discovered that the toxic air down near the mouth of the BrisVegas River mutated kids chromosomes and made them reach puberty at age seven, and none of them were at the wicket long enough for me to notice that they were holding the bat backwards.

I guess the bright-eyed hopefuls who launched into the beautifully bred daughter of a champion sire and a Group 1 winning dam trained by Queen Gai didn’t know that the little filly was a pea-hearted camel who ran faster than Jake the Peg walked either, and given the wraps put on the youngster by the ‘experts’ who could blame them?

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With the benefit of hindsight you’d have to surmise that Johnny Walker imbibed a wee bit too much of his namesake’s distilled malty water wouldn’t you, because the ‘lovely filly’ turned out to be an ugly duckling tastelessly and quite inaptly – unless you like a regular flogging – named D’Amore Demerrier, who for the sake of ease and because it’s also the name of a non-performing BRC Director we’ll call Double Dee.

Poor old Double Dee.

She’s no champion that little girl, oh no, now even ow!

Her brother Hyrdro – a $680 000 purchase at the 2012 Magic Millions sale – wasn’t either.

Now long retired, hapless Hydro had 13 starts for just a single victory – in a weak Newcastle provincial maiden – and gave the game away boasting the grand total of just $49 115 in career earnings, about a twelfth of his purchase price.

It’s not a real flash tally, but by jingo it looks damn good when you stack it up against the lifetime prize money of his little sister D’Amore Demerrier, for the woe-begotten little filly that Gai flicked to Brisbane trainer Chris Munce soon after all the syndicate shares were sold – and without giving it a race start – has earned just $14 300 from its 9 trips to the track date, and judging by it’s effort at the Gold Coast today it won’t be adding to the tally in this lifetime or the next.

A trip to the breeding barn for this crab imminently awaits my gut tells me, just as I suspect that the owners are probably searching the garage for a rope right now and wishing that they didn’t have that old gum tree with the big long limbs trimmed to buggery last week.

What’s that old saying on the track?

The only way to become a millionaire from racing is to start with five million, that was it.

Never a truer word was ever said.

Don’t you worry about that.