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The LNP aren’t running scared of the Queensland Racing Integrity Commission.

In fact, as Shadow Racing Minister Jon Krause pointed out, it’s time for a review after nearly 16 months of operations.

This considered move is not crystal ball stuff either. It is based on plenty of homework carried out statewide.

This column posed the question last week would the LNP match Labor’s financial takeover of non TAB country racing in the state.

Not only did they promptly do that but added some impressive extra planks.

An extra $16.5 million in prizemoney, a $15 million minor capital works infrastructure fund, a $1 million country racing tourism driver and a country racing board will sure seal a lot of racing votes outside south-east Queensland

This above is what the rapidly unraveling Bantam had to say in his scarcely read personal blog ‘My Call’ earlier this week, and which he repeated in a nauseatingly sycophantic interview with the LNP Racing Spokesperson Jon Krause – a self-proclaimed passionate race fan who has made just 2 parliamentary speeches about racing in the past 3 years – on his little-listened to Radio TAB program on Monday morning.

For the sake of clarity let me repeat the Bantam’s claims.

  1. The LNP will match Labor’s $70 million injection into prize money and breeders bonuses for country racing
  2. On top of this the party led by Tim the Toolman Nicholls will provide an extra $16.5 million in prize money funding for the bush
  3. The LNP will allocate an additional $15 million to a capital works infrastructure fund for country racing
  4. A Country Racing Board will be established by the LNP
  5. The party will spend $1 million on a ‘country racing tourism driver’

Gee that’s a lot of money for a chauffeur isn’t it?

My Dad never earned anywhere near that much when he was driving Can Do, or Jim Soorley, or Neil Roberts, or Sally-Anne Atkinson, or Prince Charles, or the Sultan of Brunei, or Gough Whitlam, or the Shah of Iran, or anyone else that he faithfully served during his 40 year career as a loyal and trusted civil servant.

So trusted in fact that those listed above that are still alive still keep in touch with the old man – who was always political but never partisan – and call the bat phone at the Geebung Polo Club regularly to check on his welfare.

When the line’s not clogged by pea hearts making threats of violence against yours truly that is, or police ringing to follow up on the criminal threat they’ve just heard made over the tapped line, or respectable interstate businessman calling to say they’ve heard that threats were being made against yours truly and asking if their local area managers might ride their bikes over to the caller’s house and see if they can mediate the issue.

Dad didn’t get a million bucks even to drive the Queen! How come is it then that some bastard’s getting paid a million bucks to drive Country Racing?

The simple answer is that they are not.

Just as the LNP are not allocating $16.5 million on top of Labor’s promised $70 million to country racing.

And are not allocating an additional $15 million to an infrastructure fund.

The Bantam – David Fowler, the BrisVegas racing bon vivant whose support base is dwindling by the second due to his out of control drinking and gambling habits, and his difficulties grappling with the concept truth – is lying.

Lying through his teeth.

I had an article ready to run on this very issue this morning, but would you bloody believe it Racin’ Nathan Exelby – until yesterday the bantam’s best mate – has beaten me to the goddamn punch! Blow me down with a feather and call me a little chicken!

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Only $16.5 million represents new funding for the industry.

Labor has promised $70 million.

The infrastructure money is being directed away from the fund targeted at building new harness racing and greyhound facilities that will bring hundreds of millions of dollars into the State coffers, and instead redirected to country racing in towns with populations smaller than the average suburban street, and that return no dividend to the taxpayer by way of gambling tax or commissions?

Oh dear Davey Boy, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Beware your sins for they shall come back to find you my missus always says, and do you know what? I reckon that she might just be right, because when the loyal lads start jumping over the side of the ship you’ve gotta start thinking its sinking don’t you son?

What on earth would possess a highly experienced and supposedly intelligent journalist to blatantly attempt to try and mislead his print and radio audience about a matter that he knows to be absolutely untrue is beyond me; in fact it’s beyond comprehension at all.

There’s only one rational answer that I can come with.

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Is that being a bit harsh?

No.

Quality journalists get things right and people at the top of their game don’t make big mistakes, and if they do then they don’t compound them. But the Bantam has and I’d hate to have to start believing that he has compromised his professional ethics so badly that he’d done it deliberately.

 

Despite what some who fail to discern the deeper meanings hidden in my rants may wrongly believe, I actually like the Bantam. I like him a lot.

But somethings is clearly going wrong, and you can’t just by and watch a fella you like piss his career him away down the dunny and not say anything can you, even if it night get you offside with the fella you are trying to give a helping hand.

It’s the prodigal son thing.

If you’re an Afghan camel driving captain and one of your dromedaries wanders away off the dusty track winding back to the old fashioned shack do you stand there and wave goodbye as you watch it walk off into the sunset? Or do you tie up your herd of double humpers and chase off into the desert after the lost camel?

You chase the lost humper don’t you?

It’s a no brainer.

So here we are sportfans and I’m out walking the track at Racecourse Road looking for a lost rooster, but all I see is bantams, bantams everywhere, and fizzy french pop to drink.

If you find the race caller who used to be the intellectual powerhouse, historian, keeper of the flame and pre-eminent voice of racing send him over to the Geebung RSL and ask Kevvie to keep him fed and watered until I get there will you?

 

As Kylie said and Joe Janiak proved, it’s never too late, we’ve still got time. Sort of anyway, but we gotta move quick, because they tell me that Gee Gee’s not real happy with being double played and back-doored by a Bantam, and come Monday if the cloth cap wearers are reelected vengeance may just be hers.

Come back Rooster, before they slam the door shut.