Next time young Tornado’s in Vegas town I’m going to take him down to Fadez n Bladez at Geebung for a decent haircut, and over to Ian Harrison’s on Racecourse Rd for some new togs. We’ll swish him up a bit and find him a nice young girl to marry yet.
So earlier this week after getting sick of people ringing me during siesta to tell me stories about young Toowoomba trainer Ben Currie, who the critics are calling Jalfrezi, and his alleged improper dealings with certain racing stewards I put up a story laying the allegations bare so that the gossip merchants had a chance to either put up or shut up and put the whole thing to bed once and for all.
If Jalfrezi really was rather hot then they could bring him forward to face the music if there was any to face, or if he turned out to be just another Korma the could stop hassling the young rising star and just let him get on with his job of training winners, and although my article may have seemed harsh really I was only just summarising the info that had already been put out there and laying it out in one place for it to be addressed.
Well within about 3 minutes of me having posted the article saying that the allegations are that Jalfrezi’s hot and that a racing steward is a vindaloo, QRIC take the most unusual step of issuing a press release calling me a f*ckwit and saying I have it all wrong, and although the Racing Sheriffs don’t refer to either the author or the website every bugger in town knows that they’re talking about me.
Now coppers don’t lie so clearly I’m a mile wide of the mark, and when I drag myself out of bed early around lunchtime I think to myself that I really should give young Jalfrezi a Zephyr Zing on the dog and bone and do the the right and manly thing and apologise. I’m planning to call him the next morning, but the beautiful young man that took my 17 year old daughter to his school formal tragically drowns in his backyard pool, and all things racing take a backseat was our community comes together in mourning.
Well a couple of days full of tears go by and at the end of yesterday I need something to take my mind off all the sadness of losing such a bright young life, and I remember that I need to do the right thing and ring Ben Currie to have it out handsome as hell middle aged stallion to he can’t help it he was born that way and he might be like a wine wine and grow into himself plain looking colt.
So I pick up the dog and bone and dial. Ring ring, ring ring.
“Ben Currie? Archie Butterfly. Now look here son its time to get over yourself, so take a deep breath, man up and admit that Archie got it wrong, right? Yes? Good. Apology accepted. Let’s move on”.
Now that the young lad’s suitably chastened about my mistake, I decide to give both a second chance and a nickname.
“Ok Tornado” I say, figuring that Brenborough’s old nickname the Toowoomba tornado is as good as any for a St Mary’s from home on the range, “We all make mistakes and I’ve made yours and now it’s time to redeem yourself. We’re going to go through the stable runners for today and you’re gunna give me the benefit of your Downs pasture-fed Darling Downs form analysis and tip the sportsfans into a decent steer. Okay with you? Good, let’s go”.
Poor bugger. Little Benny didn’t even get the chance to draw breath let alone answer yeas or no before I was off and gone. I’d feel sorry for him, but actions have consequences and someone’s got to make up for my mistakes and this was the Tornado’s turn, and now we’ve got a new weekly column called Picking Ben’s Brain About Horses While He Picks His Nose, and it’s bound to be a stellar ratings winner.
A big thanks to Big Ben for having the guts to man up and confess that I’d made a blue and being big enough to set it right by giving the punting sportsfans a run down on the relative abilities of his stable runners on a Saturday.
Let’s hope he can steer us into a winner of seven and then I can truly say ‘Tornado, you’ve learnt well from my mistake son. All is forgiven’.
Everyone loves a winner.
Happy Sabbath sportfans.
Hope you back a thousand winners.