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It was somewhere up the country in a land of rock and scrub, That they formed an institution called the Geebung Polo Club. They were long and wiry natives of the rugged mountainside, And the horse was never saddled that the Geebungs couldn't ride; But their style of playing polo was irregular and rash - They had mighty little science, but a mighty lot of dash:
By the old Campaspe River, where the breezes shake the grass, There's a row of little gravestones that the stockmen never pass, For they bear a crude inscription saying, "Stranger, drop a tear, For the Cuff and Collar players and the Geebung boys lie here." And on misty moonlit evenings, while the dingoes howl around, You can see their shadows flitting down that phantom polo ground;
Mr Karmichael Hunt
c/- Outer Siberia
By email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Mr K-Hunt
It is my melancholy duty to inform you that due to your flagrant breach of rule 2(A) of the Geebung Constitution (extracted below),you are henceforth banned from all licensed premises in the municipality of Geebung.
Rule 2(A): A person born, or residing, within the area bounded by Downfall Creek to the south, Murphy Road to the West, the Petrie/Caboolture train line to the North, and the Queensland Rail workshops to the East, shall not dog another person; even if that person does come from Zillmere or Wavell Heights.
For the avoidance of any doubt you are not permitted to enter, or approach within 20 metres of the following premises:
1. The Geebung RSL (also known as ‘The Bunger’)
2. The Geebung Bowls Club (also known as ‘The Bunger Bowlsie’)
3. Roadhouse 98 Lulu’s (also known as ‘The Geebung Graceland’)
4. The Bun n’ Oven (also know as ‘Up the Spout’)
5. Heart and Soul Tattooing (also known as ‘The Inkery’)
6. Mon’s Place Thai Restaurant and Takeaway (also known as ‘Monsies’)
7. The Geebung Polo Club
Please be further advised that due to your admission that you have been ingesting and supplying dangerous drugs you are also not permitted to enter the premises of the Methadone Dispensary at the Geebung Pharmacy
and the Chief Scoutmaster at the Geebung-Zillmere chapter will issue you with a trespass notice should you approach within 50 metres of the den clubhouse.
These bans take effect immediately, and remain in place for the term of your natural life, or until the Geebung Chapter of the Commancheros catches up with you, at which time the former event will take place in an unnatural manner.
You the likes of you K-hunt are not welcome here. Should you at any time unwisely elect to ignore this notice your remains may be collected from the dumpster out the front of the Geebung tip shop.
The people of Geebung have dash Mr K-Hunt. You are merely a howling dingo.
Archibald J Butterfly