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This above is a sworn declaration that the Chief Executive Officer of Racing Queensland gave to the Australian Competition Tribunal last year on behalf of Tabcorp in that company’s application for its merger with the Tatts Group to be approved.

‘Tabcorp?’ I hear you ask. ‘What the f*ck is the CEO of RQ, which derives most of its income out of 30 year monopoly arrangements with the Tatts Group, doing giving evidence for a potential merger partner that contributes two-thirds of six-tenths of sweet f*ck all to Queensland Racing?

That’s a bloody good question, but one we’ll have to park for another day because I’ve got an even better one.

Why does Eliot ‘E.T.’ Forbes insist on being called Doctor when he isn’t one, and had no right whatsoever to use the honorific title unless he qualifies his boast by ensuring that people know that he’s really just a plain old vet?

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As you can see ET doesn’t hold a doctorate of anything at all, and he isn’t the holder of a degree in Medicine (Medicinae Baccalaureus, Baccalaureus Chirurgiae or MBBS) either. In fact the best you’ll get in the way of academic qualifications from the Racing Queensland CEO is an undergraduate Bachelor of Veterinary Science (BVS) and a correspondence course MBA in Opening and Closing The New Breed of Five Drawer Filing Drawers, Setting Up a Twitter Account, and How to Clean the Fax Machine (Technology Management) from Latrobe Uni in Melbourne, where he won a ‘Best Queensland Student’ award simply because he was the only one.

Perhaps though ET’s allowed to call himself a doctor because he’s a Vet, and Archie’s just throwing stones?

Archie is throwing stones, but having been a General in the Great Grade 7 Rock Fight From the Citadel of the Unfinished House Because Rising Inflation Rate Sent the Owner Broke and Left His Dream Home Abandoned of nineteen hundred and eight zero, it’s London to a Brick on that when he chucks ’em the Bunger Boy doesn’t miss.

This is what the Veterinary Surgeon’s Board of Queensland – the government statutory authority with sole responsibility for regulation and compliance with veterinary-related legislation in the State – says about the use by vets of the title Doctor.

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It’s not very hard to understand is it?

If you want to be a wanker and insist that every bastard calls you ‘Doctor’ then you have to play the game too and reveal that you’re just a sheep balls snipper every time you put on a bit of affectation and demand that people call you Doc.

This is how it’s done by straight as an arrow folk who don’t pad their CV’s and make false claims in breach of ethical standards, academic codes of proper conduct, and the law.

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This is how Eliot Forbes does it.

Calling yourself a Doctor improperly is an offence under law, usually prosecuted as false or fraudulent misrepresentation, with the added charge of ‘to procure a pecuniary or personal benefit’ chucked in when the bullsh*t artist using the Doc prefix without being entitled to scores an earn like a hundred and plenty thousand pay rise by being appointed Dr No Iamnot the Chief Executive Officer of Racing Queensland.

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Ever since ET showed his ill-judgement and his true colours both in one fell swoop by issuing a non-Whirlwing authorised press release on Racing Queensland letterhead praising the LNP and its racing policy his political and Board of Director masters have been trying to work out a way to kick the wannabe Napolean into the never-never.

Well here it is Gee Gee and friends.

The pent up little ball of unspent homo-erotic sexual aggression has committed a grave transgression against the ethical and regulatory standards of his profession by calling himself a Doctor without qualification, and might even have committed a criminal offence, and in the repeated doing of the wrong thing has raised serious questions in the public eye about his personal and professional integrity.

This matter cannot be waved away as a simple administrative error.

Eliot Forbes has knowingly and willingly – and repeatedly over a number of years – misrepresented himself as a Doctor other than that of the veterinary kind, and in doing so has pulled the wool over the racing industry’s eyes.

Forbes should never have been so rude to an average punter just because they were sitting in a board chair next to me.

FFS I’m from Geebung! What did Forbes expect me to do, grin and quiver in the presence of his magnificence?  Yeah right.

Wannabe Doctor Eliot Forbes has clearly has learnt nothing from Little Dickie’s mistake, and now because of his errant arrogant foolishness the spotlight is on him, and now he’s standing right in the centre of the stage sweating and alone, and the only props the Desert Vet has to lean on are a copy of his CV and a big sign reading Dr Beat (Up).

ET has hoist himself on his own petard, and now the liar is exposed.

Eliot Forbes has reached the end of the line, and there is no longer any choice.

He’s gotta go.