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The Bantam David Fowler then and now: Whoever said copious amounts of champagne were good for your health?

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Have you ever seen a chicken running backwards as fast as the Bantam was bolting on his Radio TAB Press Room program last week and again on Monday morning? It was such a sight to behold that I almost fell off my chair laughing.

The Bantam is of course David Fowler, the chook about town who is wears so many hats that his mother sometimes forgets which one to place firmly on his bald scone each morning after she hands the Bantam his cut lunch in a beautifully folded brown paper bag, adjusts his tie and kisses him goodbye as he clip clops off before work to the pokie lounge at the Albion Pub.

Poor Mrs Fowler, she still hasn’t twigged that young Davey doesn’t really start work at 2 in the morning, or that the bandits don’t get turned off until 4. Or pretends that she doesn’t anyway, just as she pretends that she hadn’t long ago handicapped the form on her beloved young lad that the Bantam so desperately tries to hide, and voted Yes in a recent survey sent out by young Davey’s friend Mr Turnbull from the LNP so that her pride and joy can get married to that lovely young lass from South Australia who carries that funny big handbag with the big black lettering on the side.

If only the Bantam had the same certainty;  he doesn’t know whether he’s Arthur or Martha or half-way in between, and it shows. Just three weeks ago he was sucking up furiously to Queensland’s Racing Minister Gee Gee, and then a week later he was stabbing her fairly in the back by bringing the LNP Opposition Racing spokesperson Jon Krause – a nobody to the racing industry – onto his show and colluding to tell all manner of lies about how the LNP’s policy was better than the $70 million Labor offered, even though it wasn’t, and was in fact considerably lighter to the tune of tens of millions of dollars.

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The truth didn’t bother the Bantam though because his colors are and always have been 100% blue, so he just proceeded on with the con job he was pulling on his listeners – it’s great to see he respects his audience isn’t it – and then moved to exhort listeners who ‘care about the future of racing’ to vote LNP.

Not content with just the one blind-side sack job on Gee Gee the Bantam then proceeded a couple of days later to tick off on and be a party to a full page newspaper ad extolling the LNP’s policy on Albion Park – which was pretty much give Kevin Seymour whatever he wants, on the promise of large future political donations – and urging harness racing fans to vote LNP too.

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And let’s not forget that the duplicitous Bantam is also the official applicant in a craven attempt to have Albion Park placed on the Queensland Heritage Register to prevent it being sold by its lawful owners Racing Queensland so that the funds raised from the sale can be used to construct purpose built facilities for greyhounds and the trots.

Let’s call a spade a bloody shovel shall we?

Albion Park is a broken down monolith and a goddamn eyesore and has been for years. Clip Clop Kevin Seymour and his bag carrier the Bantam blame the lack of a grandstand for all its woes but allow me to let you in on a little secret. The old stand was never that bloody good anyway and by the time that Seymour’s company Watpac were awarded a contract worth millions to tear it down – no conflict of interest there I’m sure – it was all but rooted anyway.

Why anyone in their right mind would believe that when your sport is riddled by demonstrable corruption and race fixing – and punters the length and breadth of the state have stopped betting on it because it is so crooked – you could turn back the clock thirty years simply by building an additional stand to seat no-one because less than 100 non-licencee punters attend the track on Saturday nights is totally beyond me.

Such things are beyond the comprehension of mere mortals, and only knowable to the Emperor of Albion Park and his band of sycophants, hangers on and the rag tag bunch of drunks, SP bookie’s son-in-laws,  and compulsive gamblers that the Emperor stacks his boards with as a front for the empire of one.

Here’s the 64 thousand dollar question, and its about time someone asked it straight.

Why should one man hold back the progress of three industries by blocking the sale of a public asset that in his grand delusions of grandeur he has convinced himself is owned by the club that has become his personal plaything, when it never was at all except for during a brief decade when the asset was transferred from the longstanding Albion Park Trust set up by the government of the day to manage the asset on behalf of taxpayers to a  totally dysfunctional 50/50 ownership and management arrangement between the harness and greyhound clubs.

The Albion Park Harness Racing Club has never – NEVER – owned the racetrack and surrounds in its own right, and Clip Clop Kevin Seymour has NEVER EVER personally or through any of his myriad of companies owned a single inch of the Creek, so what the hell gives him any proprietorial rights over the joint?

Nothing does, that’s what.

Seymour’s simply a rich and powerful old man who’s desperately trying to hang on to the glorious days of his youth as the light fades on his long and prosperous life, and a whole bunch of racing industry identities headed by one D.J Bantam Fowler who should know better pat their personal benefactor on the back and kiss his arse and fuel his dreams of halcyon days and immortality.

And then the f*cking Bantam has the hide to go on air after he’s plonked the lot on the LNP losers and lost, and claim that he didn’t take sides and bemoan the fact that people have put him in the blue team.

Well here’s another hard truth David Fowler: no one put you in the LNP tent, you put yourself there. And if you now find yourself hoist on your petard, well that’s your own doing and all your problem brother.

Bring on the Tabcorb/Tatts merger I say.

At least we’ll get a caller who will have a go in a photo out of it.

Who knows, we might even just get one who’ll take responsibility for their actions and tell us all the truth, all of the time.

And wouldn’t that be a breath of lovely fresh air?

Stuff Seymour fantasies and his funding of the Bantam’s self-destructive addictions.

Racing’s always been bigger than just one and a half men, and it all always will be.

Don’t you worry about that.

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