Here is the best tip you will cop about the Tatts/Tabcorp merger all year sportsfans: Don’t believe a f*cking word that comes out of the lips of that bogheaded mate of the woman bashing c*nt Nathan Exelby.

The clown simply does not have a clue.

The merger is not going to be some super-duper you beauty we’re all gunna get rich and Queensland racing’s going to be saved panacea to all the ills that a bunch of pocket-lining parasites have wrought upon our State’s finest industry, as Exelby has told you in the Sunday Mail this morning and no doubt will go on to repeat ad nauseum on radio and in the newspaper for weeks and months.


Exelby is a brain-dead moron who wouldn’t know reality if it chomped down like Jaws the Shark and bit him firmly on his big fat arse. If you believe what he tells you then you’re just as stupid as he is, and probably twice as stupid again because you’ve had the benefit of my warning and have chosen to ignore it.

This is what’s really going to happen over the next year or so, and what we are going to be stuck with for time immemorial, and you should pay heed because this is coming from someone (me) who has read twice every piece of evidence submitted to the Australian Competition Tribunal during the merger hearings and actually understands the go, rather than a pinhead half-witted big noter who changes a few words in company press releases and calls them a real new story.

First up about 1500 – 2000 Queensland jobs are going to be lost, most of them in the South-East corridor, i.e. Brisbane.

Tatts have been hiding their staff numbers ever since the merger was mooted, but industry analysts reckon that they employ about 3000 people, most of them down here in the city that the f*ckwit racist dummy-spitter Saffer turned Pom Kevin Pietersen reckons is a boring shithole, our very own BrisVegas.

This 3000 includes truckloads of administrative workers, IT geeks, fixed-price betting brokers, techies, mid-level managers and supervisors, phone bet takers, payroll punters, radio announcers and callers (see ya later Bantam, Mercedes and Racin’ Nathan), and a whole lot more.

Ninety percent of them are cactus.

Tabcorp have got their own people who do exactly the same thing and you don’t need two of both in the modern borderless internet world. They’re all getting the sack, although not all at once because Tabcorp won’t want to frighten the political horses or savage the shareholder’s bottom line, so it will happen in strategically staged dribs and drabs but just like Stacey’s mum’s hair it won’t happen overnight but it will happen.

Second up Tabcorp are going to move the whole merged operation lock stock and barrel down south of the Tweed River.

This has always been on the cards.

Tatts lied like motherf*ckers at the time the exclusive bricks and mortar licence to print money was up for grabs a few years ago and promised the Queensland Government – cross our hearts, hope to die, stick a needle in our eye – that they were going to move the national headquarters of their operation north to Vegas, and even bought a flood-plagues building site off their largest individual share holder Clip Clop Kev to make the illusion look real.

They were lying and so was Clip Clop Kev, and all the sale of the swamp site at Newstead on the corner of Breakfast Creek and Montpelier Roads was about was conning the Brisbane City Council into giving the natural swimming pool development approval to become a floating multi-story tower.

That and of course making Clip Clop a few tens of millions of dollars richer on the sell, buy, sell, develop old three coconuts and a missing magic ball trick that’s been employed by shysters posing as magicians for centuries.

The ten floors of still mainly empty space that Tatts took out a long-term lease on at the Daisho spindle on legs building at 180 Ann Street in the Vegas CBD was part of the same trick, and was designed purely to promote Clip Clop’s slice and dice construction and development of the crazy tower built on a matchbox-sized piece of land in the city.



Tatts were never, ever going to move their operations into this sky scraper, and the fact that they were the forward advance tenant that took out the first major lease in the joint was no coincidence given who the developer that had a performance bonus on the event of scoring a big tenant just so happened to be.

You’ve already guessed it haven’t you?

Yep. Clip Clop.

Wake up to yourself Exelby, you’re making a f*cking fool of yourself son.

So Tatts are going to sack most of the staff and move the two-thirds of sweet f*ck all employees they still have left down to Melbourne, and if any c*nt in the mainstream media had half an ounce of ticker and a quarter of a brain they’d be asking Can Do the loudmouth critic of his former party who’s about to be expelled what the f*ck he thought he was trying to pull by claiming that as part of their monopoly wagering contract extension Tatts were coming box and diced to the promised Pineapple Land.

That’s the job loss and real estate side of things, well sort of anyway.

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Of course the newly merged company is going to vacate and flog off the big white joint next to the brothel down the road from the Albion Pub where the Bantam squanders his wages most mornings on the pokies, and no doubt one of Clip Clop’s companies or large share holding concerns will develop it into a residential tower of power overlooking his shrine down to the south-east at Albion Park.

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No doubt the old Golden Casket building on Ipswich Road at the Gabba – where me and a group of punting mates once counted the winning scratchies and pocketed as many of those without the barcodes scratched as we could while the boss wasn’t looking – will be flogged off too and developed in a similar to near-identical manner as Sir Edward Lyons old centre of putting bets on after the jump will be on the hill at Albion.

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All that’s small beer though when put up against what is going to happen to the poor old race loving mug punter.

That’s you and me sportsfans.

I’ve already told you all about the 25% take out Tatts commission rort, but that blatant act of Government legislated theft upon the punter has been unofficially regulated by market forces and laissez faire realities as UBET have been forced to lower their take to well below that allowable under law so that they stay competitive with the opposition licence to print money makers of the south Tabcorp.

What do you reckon is going to happen from here on in now that the 2 companies that used to compete with each other have become one?

Do you really think that Tabcorp are going to say “You f*cking beauty we have the chance to rip those bloody Queenslanders off for 25 cents in every dollar that they punt but we won’t because we’re good corporate citizens and we care”?

Or do you think they might just lick their lips and say Come in Spinner as they raise the take on bets wagered in the Queen’s Land by the poor old or internet unsavvy but punt addicted stiffs who still punt in TAB agencies across the Pineapple land or throw a few bucks on the Bendigo and Ballarat dogs late at night when they’re pissed?

Yeah, that’s right, the shareholder always comes first, and local punters are going to be ripped off blind and fleeced like lambs. They can’t complain though, for after all Clip Clop and he’s gazillionaire share holding ilk need the money far more than a mug 30 year railway employee down at the Mayne yard does don’t they?

And if the stupid c*nts who have loyally been betting with the Queensland TAB since they were twelve don’t like it they can always open up a TAB.COM.AU account and allow Tabcorp to sack a few more hundred employees can’t they?

This is the absolute truth about what is about to happen sportsfans, and if you don’t believe me then put the questions directly to Mr N. Exelby and see what he has to say to you in reply.

There’s only one good thing that is going to come out of this whole shemozzle, and no it’s not the fact that chronically addicted gamblers like the Bantam are going to be able to quell their poker machine compulsions by betting of computer generated ‘virtual races’ with an automatic rake of 25 cents in every dollar the poor sucker invests.

No it’s not that sportsfans.

It’s that the Bantam is going to be kicked for touch in favor of Josh Fleming, and we will never have to listen to the mincing little two-timing, backstabber c*nt sit on the fence in a half-head margin photo finish ever again.

Sometimes even the darkest clouds have silver linings.

Just like Ric and Ailsa always had Paris though, little Davey will always have the Creek.

The Torrens Creek, that is.

Fly away little birdie.

You won’t be missed.