EXCLUSIVE – How the Farm Got F*cked – And How the Racing Industry and All the Punt-Loving Sportsfans Did Too – Part 3 – Beware the Ides of March – And Don’t Lie to Archie or Dale Monteith – Nifty Nev and Evergreen Expose Themselves as Liars, Crooks and Goddamn Cheats

13 March 2017

The track races poorly at a mid-week meeting.

Jockeys and trainers report that there horses cannot get stable footing on the track and are rolling about all over the place. Different sections of the track are playing different ways. There are dozen’s of different biases all on the one track.

It’s the round sand and the grass that’s failed to take root because of the peat moss layer that’s the problem, but no-one knows it at that stage.

Well, almost no-one.

As is always the case on racetracks, some smarties are in the know, but of course they’re not telling because they don’t want to knock off their price.

The BRC blamed its staff for the problems, and re-engaged the mob who stuffed the track in the first place to fix it

Following the first debacle in March an emergency meeting of stakeholders was convened.

These meetings included a couple of hand-picked trainers and jockeys; a clutch of representatives of the BRC, RQ and Evergreen; and some so-called turf experts. In other words it was a meeting of the very same people that bastardised the track, with a couple of jockeys and trainers – who knew something was wrong but didn’t have a clue about the finer detail of what it was – thrown in to make the meeting look fair dinkum.

Evergreen pointed the finger at the BRC track staff and blamed them, and like the Black Caviar of racing club CEO’s that he absolutely isn’t and the greatest BRC Chairman in history that he decidedly ain’t Whimpey Dave and Nifty Nev did exactly what corrupt arseholes of bosses around the globe do when faced with the danger of exposure of their failings and sins.

They sided with the conspirators and pointed the finger at their own loyal staff too.

Two days later Evergreen – the very folk who had f*cked the track, and whose hellish handiwork was still under warranty – were contracted by the Brisbane Racing Club to maintain the track for the next three months.

Not by Racing Queensland – do not fall for the lies coming out of Ascot that it was all RQ’s fault – but by the Brisbane Racing Club itself, but by Nifty Nev and his band of jolly green fun-loving, benefit sharing friends, and by his hand-chosen boy and personal Black Caviar of CEO’s Mr Whimpey David George Whimpey.

Or at least that’s what we’re told.

The fix was still in.

Under the present leadership of the BRC the fix is always in.

But there’s a double blind in play, and the fixers have been f*cked by Mr Monteith, who clearly saw them coming a mile away even though in their hubris they obviously didn’t see him, and haven’t until right about now.

F*cking idiots.

It’s the dates Stupid!

Monteith has attached as Appendix 8 of his report a submission that he received from the Brisbane Racing Club as part of his review.

The submission is in the form of a letter dated 27 July 2017 written on BRC letterhead and authored, signed and dated by club Chairman Nifty Neville Bell.

Nifty’s one of those blokes who wear singlets underneath his Pierre Cardin long sleeved business shirt and carry a comb in their pocket that they wet and use to slick their hair just right every time that they go to the dunny. He thinks he’s all that, and really really smart. He might be too; after all he’s made a motza selling real estate in the Caboolture region over the last few decades after starting out with nothing but chutzpa, a bit of spunk and a decided lack of ethics.

But he was dumb enough to let that slip to your author, and to back it up by taking a cheap shot at what in his ignorance he imagined was this writer’s mistaken belief that he was a shareholder or somehow tied up with the quarry South Pacific Sands at Ningi just up the road from his joint a few doors down from the uncle and auntie’s place.

Nifty thought he was real clever playing a double blind, not realising that Archie was playing a triple and knew he’d fall for it, because he’d fallen for the ‘I love Peter Tighe’ trick thinking he was my source of information when I’d never even actually met or spoken to the bloke, and wouldn’t know him even if I fell over him in the street.

You’re an idiot Nifty. Think about it son, and ruminate on it when you are soon put out to pasture. Why would I imagine that South Pacific Sands were the bad guys when they were the company that’s analysis revealing the sand scam Dale Monteith attached as appendix 4 of his report?


I’ll tell you why.

Because you took Monteith for a moron, just the same as you took me for one.

Guess what sunshine?

You were wrong on both counts.

Why is Nifty wrong? How has he misjudged Monteith so badly?

In Nifty’s submission he has been invited to lay out a timeline of events.

Nifty says that the mid-week meeting at which the track played like a bed of marbles was held on the 13th of March 2017.

He is telling the truth.

Nifty says that an emergency meeting of ‘stakeholders’ – the crooks and clowns responsible for the track fiasco, with a couple of stooge trainers and jockeys thrown in for show – was held 2 days later, which makes it the 15th of March 2017.

He is still telling the truth.

Nifty says that 2 days after the meeting – which means on the 17th of March 2017 – the BRC entered into a contract with Evergreen to maintain the track for the next 3 months.


Nifty is lying.


During the course of his report Monteith has mentioned an assessment of the track conducted by a company named Sports Turf Consultants (STC) –  a company that he knows has a long record of excellence in track assessment dating back to the redevelopment of the Caulfield track in the mid 1990’s, and has personally insisted must be part of his review team – and on each occasion that he has referred to STC Monteith has mentioned that their report was handed down on the 24th of March 2017.

That’s the sucker punch.

Then he throws the hook.

The Brisbane Racing Club didn’t enter into a contract with Evergreen on the 17th of March 2017 like Nifty says at all. He’s lying through his f*cking teeth, and the dickhead’s that stupid that he’s put his signature to his perjury and all!

Come in spinner.

Come in Nifty.

Your comb can’t save you now son.

The BRC didn’t enter into a contract with Evergreen until a week later, on the 24th of March 2017.

The day that Sports Turf Consultants hand down their report saying that Evergreen and its scientist John Neylan have been telling huge and deliberate porkie pies, and that track isn’t fine at all, it’s f*cked.

Monteith’s suckered Evergreen as well.

They’ve admitted in their submission that the maintenance contract to fix the track that they’d just f*cked wasn’t entered into until the 24th of March, and they’ve put it in writing too.

Monteith’s attached it as Appendix 1.



The man’s a genius.

He’s book-ended the crooks.

He’s played Evergreen off the break too, because knowing they’re rooted they do what crooks always do as well. They point the finger at someone else – Neylan, the scientist, their own man, who they figure can’t give them up because he’d be giving himself too.

But like all bad crooks they over play their hand.

Evergreen claim that they realised that the track was rooted when they conducted their own assessment independent of Neylan and suddenly discovered that the bastard had been lying to them, and instead of being a cracker the course proper was in fact only a 2 out of 10.

The date Evergreen claim they conducted this assessment out of the blue?

The 23rd of March 2017.

The day before the trusted and fair dinkum analysts Sports Turf Consultant handed down its report saying that Evegreen and Neylan had both been lying and that the track was totally and utterly f*cked.

The day before Evergreen and the BRC entered into a contract giving them sole responsibility for the track for the next 3 months.

The day before this ……..

To be continued 

EXCLUSIVE – How the Farm Got F*cked – And How the Racing Industry and All the Punt-Loving Sportsfans Did Too – Part 4 – Nifty Tells the Porkie Pie That’s Going to Send Him to Prison – And Evergreen Get Awarded a $130 000 Plus Contract to Perform a Job They Should Have Done on Warranty For Free

Monteith drops the bomb

It’s a one liner on page 25 of his report and it goes like this

On the day of the ASTC report, 24 March 2017, BRC appointed EG for a 3-month period at a cost in excess of $130,000 to maintain the track leading into the Winter Carnival.

An independent report from an internationally acclaimed sports turf consultant has just been handed down revealing that Evergreen has totally f*cked up the track and that they and their appointed agronomist have been lying about it for months, and on the very same day the Brisbane Racing Club – not RQ, the BRC – award them a 3 month contract worth in excess of $40 000 a month to repair what they falsely claim is damage by the club’s own track staff?

But the job’s under warranty!

The BRC shouldn’t have to pay at all!

Evergreen are legally obliged to fix their f*ck up. They don’t have to be paid to do it at all. They must do it. For free.

Nifty’s in on the fix and has copped back handers from Evergreen.

He has to be, that’s why he’s lied about the date of the contract, there’s no other possible reason for it.

If he admits that Evergreen and the club struck the $130 000 plus contract on the 24th of March 2017 he will have to explain why the repair job is not being done under the warranty that Evergreen have provided as part of their successful tender.

But if he backdates the contract to the 17th of March, and then colludes with Evergreen to falsely claim that they conducted their own independent assessment of the track on the 23rd – six days after they and Nifty say they were awarded the new contract, and the day before the real assessment is handed down finding that the track reports for the past 12 months have been falsified – then the warranty issue is taken out of play.

You can’t claim against a warranty until you know the product you’ve paid for is faulty can you?

And according to Nifty and Evergreen’s false statements neither party found out about the faults in the track until 6 days after the contract had been struck, and they’d discovered that John Neylan was a lying bastard.

Pigs arse.

There was no logical reason on earth for John Neylan to go rogue and submit false reports. What the hell would be in it for him outside of a pay check and perhaps a healthy sling on top from Evergreen.

There is no logical reason for Nifty to lie either, except one.

He’s in on it.

Nifty’s the fixer.

He’s a goddamn lowlife thief and a corrupt as all f*ck crook.

And now he’s committed fraud, and there are documents to prove it.

Do you still love Little Dickie now Nifty?

You f*cked up mate, I saw it in your face.

Now you’re f*cked.

And so you f*cking should be you lowlife thieving grub.


He’s over there!

The bloke with the comb in one hand and the ticket to Singapore in the other!



EXCLUSIVE – How the Farm Got F*cked – And How the Racing Industry and All the Punt-Loving Sportsfans Did Too – Part 5 – The Cock Crows and The Cock Goes Cock a Doodle Do – But The Birds Archie Loves Can’t Hear the Call – And It’s All Nifty and Whimpey Dave’s Fault

So on the 24th of March 2017 Evergreen are awarded the $130 000 contract for repair work that should have been done for free under warranty, and in an attempt to avoid the difficult questions that would have only one obvious answer Nifty Nev lies and says they were given it a week before.

There is one seriously large problem they both share though.

The Eagle Farm track is totally and utterly f*cked.

They need a miracle to bring it back.

Nifty and the Evergreen boss close their eyes and squeeze real tight and focus on one thing and one thing only, except they are seeking two.


And a solution.

Far away across Nudgee Road at Doomben a cock crows across the track semaphore. It is a familiar sound.

It’s the Rooster!

Both men jump high in the air and shout with glee. They’re saved! The chook’s pulled them out of the fire!

They rush off to the local battery farm and buy every bag of chicken poo the cruel farmer has on his hands. Then they rush to the next caged chook concentration camp and do the same, and then onto the next one, and then the one after that, and the one after that, and ……..

Nifty and the bloke from Evergreen visit chicken farms all day and night, and the next as well, and keep visiting them until they have bought every single bag of chicken poo in the whole of South-East Queensland.

21 tonnes of the sh*t.

Over the next 14 days an army of labor hire men from the joint next to Centrelink don fluro Evergreen work shirts and deposit the whole 21 tonnes of chicken turd on the track under the watchful eyes of Nifty Nev and Whimpey Dave.

Nifty’s standing up on the paddock rail with Sky Heights rider’s whip in his hand urging the chicken sh*t jockeys on and kicking them home. He’s only a got a few weeks to get the track back on track for the Winter Carnival, and if he can’t pull it off he’s going to look like an imbecile in front of his mates on the Australian Racing Board. He IS an imbecile, but they can’t be allowed to know.

Whimpey Dave thinks the Winter Carnival is a stripper’s festival at Melba’s. He’s not thinking of that though, or of horses. The Black Caviar of CEO’s is too busy testing the wind by licking his finger and sticking it in the air, and he’d show Nifty how clever he is by telling him that it’s coming from the north east, only he can’t remember whether north is up or down and whether east is left or right.

It doesn’t really matter that much though. Whimpey Dave’s just hoping that whatever way the wind’s blowing it doesn’t suddenly change direction and come back and blow chicken crap onto his flash new white suit.

After a fortnight of Nev wielding the shellaleigh and Whimpey Dave worrying about his white suit the job is done.

Eagle Farm’s been sh*t bombed with 21 tonnes of chicken turd.

They’re saved!

No they’re not.

The mass application of chicken sh*t doesn’t fix the ailing track, it totally f*cks it.

Chicken manure is extremely high in phosphorous. 21 tonnes of the sh*t is super duper high in phosphorous. Applied in just 2 weeks its the Everest of phosphorous.

Know what an excessive application of phosphorous does to grass?

It burns the living crap out of it.

Scorches it.

Turns it black.

When you are running feature race meetings on turf that has no root structure because the grass is growing sideways a burnt top layer of grass is deadly, because it means that the group quality steeds are sprinting at top speed down a home straight that has a thin veneer of grass under which lies a thick pool of water  sitting on top of a self-induced peat bog, with round rolling slippery sand underneath and inferior quality gravel below.

That’s the real reason the Eagle Farm played as a heavy track over the 2 days of the Winter Carnival that were run at the track on the 29th of April and fateful 27th of May, when after the last race a number of Australia’s leading trainers declared they would no longer run their horses on this sub-cattle track and started booking flights home, and in doing so forced Racing Queensland to shut down the track for racing, and at the mid-week meeting so inadvisedly held at the Farm on the 3rd of May.

Don’t believe a single word of the bullsh*t that Nifty Nev and Whimpey Dave have been spruiking about the travesty of Eagle Farm being closed for racing, or their errant nonsense about the track being safe for racing.

Last week’s Everest winning jockey Kerrin McEvoy – who has ridden at low standard country tracks all over Australia and Europe during his career – wasn’t making it up when he described the Eagle Farm track on 27 May 2017 as

the worst … I’ve ever ridden on

and champion local trainers Toby Edmonds (Houtzen) and Liam Birchley ($25 million in prizemoney earnings and number 44 trainer in the nation) weren’t whistling Dixie when they said the track was in trouble and the industry was about to be sunk either.

They were all telling the truth.

It was Nifty Neville Bell and Whimpey Dave who were lying.

They were the ones dragging Queensland racing down in the undertow, and the pair of corrupt bastards still are.

I’ve given you all the evidence you need to prove it sportsfans.

I’ve flogged my guts out for no reward – not a single cent – and to the detriment of my family to give it to you, and I’ve done it because I love racing.

I love it so much that it hurts.

Now you know what really happened to the Eagle Farm track, and why.

My Mum and Grandma and Great-Grandma and Great Grandma’s Mum are lying in the wall at St Augustine’s church just down the road from the track, and they’re hurting.

All they want is to hear the call from the track to keep themselves alive, and all they’re hearing is silence that renders them forever dead.

I don’t want the women I love to die, and I’m not going to let c*nts like Whimpey and Nifty kill them.

But I need your help.

Speak up. Shout. Scream.

Just don’t let these criminals steal our dreams.




Will the Rooster Crow at the Break of Dawn – Or Will He Look Outside His Window and See Racing Gone? – The Game’s The Reason Blokes Like Us Carry On – Don’t Think Twice Dave – It’s Alright


Somewhere between 13 March and 29 April the desperate clowns from Evergreen who have been paid more than $130 000 to fix their own f*ck up that they should have fixed for free dump 21 tonnes of chicken manure on the Eagle Farm racetrack and totally f*ck it, perhaps forever.

Just look at what happens after they drop the chook sh*t.

Will the Rooster who loves racing as much as I do crow?

David Fowler – over to you!


Archie Explains Exactly Why He Decided to Head Off to the Races

A number of my long-term readers have contacted me over the past month wanting to know why I have taken such a right-hand turn from my usual focus on crime, corruption and politics and now seem to focus my energies exclusively on racing.

A couple of my favorite subscribers who have been following this website since its beginning live reporting on the Trade Union Commission have lodged protests, saying that they are not racing men or gamblers and find the content boring.

I don’t quite understand their complaints.

How could anyone find racing boring?

I love it, and I love writing about it. Racing brings me joy, and writing about it fills me with glee, and do you know what? I reckon that I’m pretty damn good at it too – better than most, including the majority of the so-called pros – and that a combination of my unique life experiences, encyclopedic long-term memory and wide circle of associates, contacts and friends has rendered me as almost the ideal racing writer, although of course I am somewhat handicapped by the facts that I usually go to bed at the time the horses arrive at the track for morning work; that I generally dislike talking to other human beings unless they are mates, interesting or female and hot; and that my PTSD inspired anxiety disorder prevents me in the main from seeking quotes or asking the hard questions of people that are the usual requirement of a penman in the trade.

I can’t do anything about these impediments other than live with them though, and it’s taken me more than three decades of fighting my disabilities to understand that simple fact, and one other: it’s not my fault.

I am what I am because of what was done to me when I was too young to fight back, and I’m not to blame.

The dead peds and the jailed one and the one waiting in living purgatory for the lift down to hell are, and there is sweet f*ck all I can do about the lifelong effects that their abuse has caused other than to continue to fight it and up a destitute drunken druggie cast out onto the streets after my family leaves me and I’m thrown into a mental home and then thrown out again to nothing, or to embrace my failings and just do the very best that I can.

So I do the best I can, and here you are reading it, and thanks. It makes me feel good, and inspires me to keep on keeping on and continue trying to tell the truth about things that are far too often hidden in the dark.

Now back to the beginning?

Because the real story isn’t about racing at all.

It’s about greed, and vanity, and politics, and nepotism, and corporate misconduct, and insider dealing, and crime, and criminals, and corruption, and corrupt public, and corporate officials, and the fix being in.

Just like most of my stories.

Only this time the crooks are in the racing industry, and the fix is so widespread and so deeply innate to a discrete section of industries that only someone who knows a lot about crime and politics and government and companies and clubs and contracts and gambling and horse racing and greyhounds and trots and research and journalism and words and ideas can properly write about and reveal it.

There’s only one mad bastard that I know who fits the bill.

Here I am baby.

Over the next couple of hours I am going to publish a series of stories about the Eagle Farm racecourse redevelopment.

They are not my stories, they are those of Dale Monteith, the life long racing administrator who was engaged by Racing Queensland to report on the failures that lead to the closure of the Eagle Farm race track bang in the middle of what should have been Queensland’s most important few weeks of racing of the year.

I haven’t spoken to Mr Monteith, and he has not written what I am about to publish, but he is man who clearly loves racing as much as I do and so in his report he has left clues, clues that only a crazy man with the attributes listed above and a passion for the Sport of Kings and Queens and Paupers and Punters and Average Race Loving Australians can spot and quiz and research and write about.

There are far more questions than answers in what you are soon to read.

They need answers.


Why Are the Brisbane Racing Club Sponsoring Whimpey Dave’s Kids Surf Lifesaving Club When They Don’t Sponsor Other BRC Members Kids Clubs? – Because Whimpey Dave’s Kids Aren’t Members of Those Clubs – And Because He’s a Deeply Corrupt Crook


The Brisbane Racing Club has almost 3000 members, at least 600 of them children signed up to the Giddy Up Club which would be an excellent initiative by the club if only it weren’t for the fact that the purpose of the young racegoers club is not to encourage young people into racing, but rather to pad the membership figures to make it look like the club is growing instead of bleeding, and in the process earn BRC CEO ‘Whimpey Dave’ Whimpey and his Marketing Manager Katie Churchill a performance bonus for ‘achieving’ their targets.

Many of the 3000 adult and child members of the BRC are involved in sporting, cultural and community services groups in the Brisbane area. Things like footy teams, dance groups, scouts and junior Jaycees. All of these organisations are not-for-profit community organisations always desperately in need of funds. Most aren’t attached to or affiliated with licensed clubs that make healthy profits from electronic gaming machines, aka pokies.

The Brisbane Racing Club doesn’t sponsor any of them.

North Burleigh Surf Lifesaving club has lots of members too, the vast majority of theme social members of the licensed arm of the club which offers 41 poker machines, live keno and UBET gambling terminals for their hugely under the odds, must lose due to the percentages for their live in hope punting pleasure.

David Whimpey and his wife Natalie are members of the North Burleigh SLC.



Whimpey Dave spends a week or two volunteering down at Burleigh breaking down the beach. It’s his forte, breaking things down, and as his work at the BRC shows he’s damn good at it too, even if he does have a problem sticking when he’s not being paid.

The other members of the club are juniors who are too young to play the pokies, and instead are ‘nippers’ or ‘grommits’ who participate in the Junior Lifesaving activities offered by the club as their sport.

David and Natalie Whimpey’s children are members of the North Burleigh Junior Surf Life Saving Club and attend nippers training and events on weekends.

The Brisbane Racing Club sponsors the North Burleigh SLC.


As related above, the BRC does not sponsor any of its other members or member’s kids sporting clubs.

Why not?

Because Whimpey Dave’s kids aren’t in them.

This is called corruption in any person’s language.

Whimpey Dave has authorised BRC member’s money to be spent sponsoring a club that his children are involved in, without any due process by way of setting a junior sponsorship budget and inviting interested local organisations to make a submission for funding and/or support from the club.

North Burleigh isn’t even in the BRC’s racing catchment area, it’s in the Gold Coast Turf Club’s. Why is that club not sponsoring the surf club?

Because Whimpey Dave doesn’t work for the Gold Coast Club, he works for the BRC. Or it’s members work for him, depending on which way you want to look at it.



Have the BRC Board of Directors approved this corrupt misuse of its members funds for purposes unrelated to its constitutional business and activities?

If so, why?

The folk in charge of racing in NSW just put on a ten million dollar race, attracted 33 000 people to track at Randwick, and doubled betting turnover.

We in Queensland don’t even have our number one track to race on.

Corrupt officials are all the same, whether they are in charge of unions or RSL’s or Racing Clubs or anything else: all they care about is themselves, not the sports or activities they are entrusted by members to govern. And when the folk in charge of something care not about it but only about them it always ends badly, with the guts ripped out of the cash cow and the rippers sailing off into the sunset to do it somewhere else all over again.

You can fiddle while Rome burns and do and say nothing sportsfans, and watch on as Whimpey Dave and Nifty stand over and stoke the fire.

Just don’t wail over the ashes when our industry is reduced to nothing, because punters you were told.



EXCLUSIVE: Why Eagle Farm Cannot Possibly Be Ready to Race in Time For the 2018 Winter Carnival – And How Racing Queensland and the BRC Know It


We are all being lied to about Eagle Farm being ready again in time for next year’s Brisbane Winter Racing Carnival sportsfans.

It’s bullsh*t and it ain’t gunna happen, and I’m not being a naysayer or a mock by writing this, I’m just telling you the straight out truth, because somebody has to, just like somebody has to tell you exactly what Dale Monteith laid out as the steps required to get the Farm back on track and ready to race in time for the beginning of the carnival in the last week of April.

Here it is then, step by step, the Monteith Solution.

A. Remove the top 75mm of the track.

This involves the removal of all the grass, the organic layer (peat moss and fertilisers), and a portion of the sand.

B. Put in a 50 mm layer of angular sand or sandy loam (it is believed RQ have plumped for the sandy loam) and incorporate (blend) the new sand or sandy loam into the top 150 mm of the track.

C. To be done properly this requires removing at least a further 50-100 mm of the remaining sand, and in ideal circumstances the whole lot, and using screens (filters, similar to those used to pan for gold but hopefully on a larger and more hi-tech scale) and automated blending equipment to mix the old (dud) and new (good) sands together.

D. The newly blended sand must then be relaid into the track.

E. Spread nutrient retention products – essentially fertilisers like dynamic lifter fines or zeolite – across the surface of the sand, and then add nutrient amendments such as calcium, potassium or superphosphate on top of that.

F. This layer of nutrients must then be cultivated into the base layers using power harrows.

G. Sod the track (lay) with 6-7 hectares of Wintergreen Couch.

H. Immediately after the turf is laid the track needs to be comprehensively watered and then firm rolled to set in the grass, firming it out so that it is level and any air pockets are removed, in order that the newly laid turf can make firm contact with the under-layer and ‘catch’ so the roots can grow into the sand and nutrient mix.

I. The newly laid track then needs to be established – nourished, watered, weeded and maintained – for a minimum of 12 weeks.

J. During this time the track must be top-dressed with 100 cubic metres of sand per hectare, meaning about 600-700 cubic metres of sand must be dressed in.

K. The track then needs to be cored – pierced with spikes; think of golf shoes on the green and you’ve got it- and scarified, which means sliced (imagine running your garden edger across the lawn, that’s it), so that it can be oxygenated and de-thatched to avoid the previous clumping problems that resulted in the retention of moisture at the top of the surface and heavy 8 and 9 tracks during weeks of brilliant sunshine.

L. After all this is done and the track and has been fully established for 12 weeks – and assuming of course that there are no setbacks or issues that push out the schedule – the track needs to be oversown with pasture rye grass at least 8 weeks before racing resumes. The purpose of the rye is to ensure a thick, but not thatched, racing surface that is robust enough to cope with both the winter carnival and year round racing.

M. Before racing resumes the new track must be evaluated and tested under race like conditions by conducting (in order) track work, jump outs and then barrier trials, and having the track condition assessed and evaluated by expert consultants engaged specifically to perform the task.

Okay, that’s it. You got it?

Simple isn’t it? If you regard a major military style exercise conducted under stringent time limitations and with maximum speed and efficiency easy that is.

So there is what Mr Dale Monteith – whose report is quoted every time Nify Nev, ET Forbes, Gee Gee Grace or Whirlwind Wilson open their gobs – prescribes as the cure required for all of Eagle’s Farm’s ills sportsfans, told to you in full by a racing writer for the first time ever.

But how the f*ck are Racing Queensland and the Brisbane Racing Club going to do it?

Today is the 16th of October 2017.

The Brisbane Winter Racing Carnival is set to kick off at Eagle Farm with the traditional running of the time-honored WFA Sir Byrne Hart Stakes and Gunsynd Classic for three-year-olds on the 28th of April 2018.

There are 27 weeks between now and then, with Christmas and New Year in the middle.

The track must be laid and maintained for a minimum period of 12 weeks, and then  another 600-700 cubic metres of top-dressing sand must be placed on track, spiced and sliced, and then 7 hectares of rye grass have to be over-sown in and grown for a minimum period of 8 weeks before racing resumes.

There are 20 of our available 27 weeks gone before we start and all we have done is whack down the grass, grow it and then top-dress it and chuck rye seeds on top.

All the rest of the work – the laborious, time-consuming heavy stuff like digging up the track twice, mixing sand, relaying it all all that jazz – has to be done in the remaining 7 weeks.

Every Queenslander knows that the State’s heaviest rains always come during the summer months of December to February, the crucial period in which the track must be established. Often it floods in Brisbane around January, just like it has in various degrees for three of the past six years. Average rainfall during a South-East Queensland summer is 426.6 mm, or nearly 17 inches.

This means that we are London to a Brick on of losing at least a cumulative 2-3 weeks of the 27 and maybe more, and at this stage no-one can predict how the summer storms and cyclones might affect the Eagle Farm track, and what sort of setbacks might be suffered.

As I said earlier Christmas and New Year also falls within this period so another week will be lost.

We haven’t got many left have we sportsfans?

Don’t forget either that I’m counting from today, and as you can see from the photos taken at Nifty Nev’s recent 70th birthday party no work whatsoever has begun as yet.


Nil, Zip. Nada. None.

And rain is predicted for entire coming week.

There is no way on earth that Eagle Farm can be ready in time for the Carnival Carnival punters. It is physically impossible.

Monteith stressed in the executive summary of his report that if we wanted to hold carnival racing at headquarters work on rectifying the track asap, by which he meant straight away, but in the 8 weeks since he handed down his report nothing of any material consequence has happened.

Racing Queensland and the BRC have f*cked around for too long, and now its too late and they’ve missed the boat. The press releases they pre-distributed yesterday and will publish on their website later this morning in response to the criticisms first raised on this site and subsequently picked up by the broader press are just self-serving nonsenses full of a mix of false hope, huge amounts of arse covering and an unhealthy smattering of deliberately delivered downright lies.

The truth is that RQ and the BRC have totally ballsed it up again.

Have they done it deliberately? My mail says so, but only time or some fair dinkum investigative reporting by the mainstream media will tell, but don’t hold your breath waiting for the latter unless you want to join 4 generations of my family in the wall of St Augustine’s Church just a furlong down Racecourse Rd from the Stradbroke Handicap starting stalls.

There is only one solution to the catastrophe that we once called Queensland racing, and it is stunningly simple.

Sack the whole lot of them.

The Racing Queensland board and management, the BRC Directors, the lawyers, the consultants, the subcontractors, everyone.

Then use the money you have just saved courtesy of the sackings and throw it at Peter V’Landys to entice him to come to Queensland for 5 years and turn it all around. Pay the man however much he wants, double it if it will keep him here for longer, give him one of the new apartment blocks that will be built at Eagle Farm if you have to, do whatever it takes.

Just get Vlandys up to the Pineapple State to save our industry and make it good again, because if you want to climb Everest and become Champions you need a leader who can show you how to run and jump and scale the heights and swim and win.

Right now Queensland racing is drowning, and the same people who are telling you they are going to pull us out are the same people who dragged us into the rip in the first place.

Queensland racing needs a hero.

Queensland racing needs a savior.

Queensland racing needs Peter Vlandys.

Editors note – A full copy of the Monteith Report can be accessed by clicking here